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Hiii -Carers UK Forum


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Hi new member , my name is ash from Luton in Bedfordshire - Glad to be here on this website.
hi Ash and welcome Image
Join in anywhere Image
I had to give up work last year due to becoming a full time carer - I was in a semi management position in my company but juggling between home & work was begginning to affect me , sometimes i only slept 3 hrs a night and worked all day (still on call if something happened at home) and had to leave my sister who is a pharmacist at home to replace when im not there - now thats 2 careers im putting in jeapordy .. but final straw came when wife who is long term mentally disabled tried to commit suicide in bathroom ... sad to say , i had to leave work and become full time home carer Image Good news is since ive been at home she is stable better than before , but i am still restricted on going out etc , cant leave her alone at home for more than 20 mins before she has panick attacks Image I think i need help aswell , but have so far struggled on my own Image
Ahmed, thats tough Image
You shouldnt need to struggle on your own, definitely get some help for yourself.
Hi crocus , thanks , my only worry really is that so far im coping but what happens when i break down one day ? Image Image So far ive coped for the last 10 or so years but now 2 years ago i was diagnosed type 2 diabetes and have neglected my own health to care for partner , To tell the truth im in physical pains here and there almost everyday but i still keep going like nothings wrong , but one day when i drop ... i fear it will all be over for partner , but i try not to think that far ahead , just take each day as it comes Image
Thank You all - im sure i can vent on these forums in a nice way Image
Welcome to the forum Ahmed. Are you getting any help at all? Many of us, me included, have soldiered on for too long without help, then succumbed to long term illness. None of us are Superwoman/Superman. It's much better to have a bit of regular time off when caring long term, so that we can have a bit of "me" time.
Hi bowlingbun , thanks , The real help i needed a few months ago was getting the partner in / out of bath which i told the OT and she had arranged for a bath seat to be installed in the house - which truthfully is more trouble than before as when the wife sits for a period of a few mins she is a problem to get back up again due to meds / depot injections make her stiff and a few weeks ago when trying to lift her out of the bath sitting position she slipped and i had the full weight on my arms (quite painful) , I was thinking about getting an electric shower fitted as there is only a bathtub in place at my property , do you think the Social would help me in contributing towards me fitting an electric shower in ? Im not asking them to pay for it just help towards the cost ?? I had a carers assesment done last year and they decided i needed a break and paid me a chq for £200.00 to take a short break , but chq is still uncashed / unbanked as i cant leave her alone for more than a short while , If i have to tag her along with me then its not a break as i would be lifting / pushing / pulling her around with me Image
Hi Ahmed, My mum is severely disabled but loves having a daily bath (which she's always done) thanks to her special bath seat, provided by either Health of Social Services. It comes up, she sits on it, and then it goes down, controlled by a handset I think - I don't live with mum, the carers give her the bath, that's why I'm a bit vague. So if your wife has a basic bath seat, go back to the OT department and ask if you can have one like mum's. Shame you didn't pay the cheque in. It sounds like Social Services are not trying very hard to support you. Are there no clubs, sitting services, outings or similar available for people with her type of problem? In my area (New Forest, so a large area where transport is one of the biggest challenges) there are several services for carers. A monthly drop in club and various outings are arranged throughout the year. Whilst I know ideally you want to have "me" time don't dismiss any services like this, because you will meet other carers with similar problems who will probably tell you more about what is available locally than any social worker!
hi and welcome