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Newbie - Carers UK Forum

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I have joined the Forum to try and find some support to cope with my situation a little better. I am 24 and have been caring for my 86yr old Grandmother for 2 years following her need for oxygen after pneumonia she has various ailments arthritis, registered blind, oxygen user, hard of hearing, poor mobility the list goes on. I look after her out of love and to respect what she wants as my Stepfather (her son) wants her to go in a care home and she does not want to. I will continue to respect what she wants but as I get more and more tired and she gets less and less able to do things I don’t know how much longer we can cope, I work full time and due to financial constraints unfortunately this cannot change and in all of the whirlwind of doctors’ appointments, cooking, washing, cleaning, food shopping, trips out, working, medication, listening, running my own home (couldn’t live with her it is too much I have no freedom or life of my own have tried this) I am stuck and feel trapped and don’t nowhere to turn. I love her very much and want to care for her and see that her wishes are respected 110% but how?... Image
Hi Ruth and welcome to the forum Image
I love her very much and want to care for her and see that her wishes are respected 110% but how?...
Start by having a look here]http://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice ... -to-caring[/url].

You could also get in touch with your local Social Services and Carers Support Group (both telephone numbers and contact details should be on your Council's website under Adult Services) to arrange for care assistants to come in and help your Grandmother with things like taking medication, personal care (i.e. getting her up, washed and dressed in the mornings) - depending on assessment they can also provide someone to pop in and get her lunch etc.
Hi Ruth Image I'm really glad you joined up. I know you will get some good support and advice here.

I am very impressed by your commitment to support your grandmother. As you say, she does not wish to go into a Home. I'm sure there are issues with this though if her son thinks she ought to. Sometimes elderly folk dont have a great deal of choice but this should rightly only be considered when other ideas have been fully explored and tried - in other words, she should be given every opportunity to remain in her own own, albeit with support.

I know you are doing your very best, but you cannot be there all the time and do everything. Reflecting upon what you say, I wonder if Social Services has been involved ? Possibly not. I do think it would be helpful to both you and to your grandmother to make contact with Social Services. They will then be able to assess the situation and will make suggestions about what types of support will best enable your gran to stay where she is. Social Services will also look at your needs seperately, as your gran's carer. This may not happen overnight ( it certainly wont ! ) but I would strongly suggest you make contact saying you are a carer and struggling to keep your gran in her own home. ( Social Services are a part of your local council .)

I am impressed by what you are doing. But its quite an uphill struggle with your other responsibilities. Please do approach Social Services because if they can provide some input too then the whole thing becomes a lot more manageable..... Better for your gran, and better for you ! I wish you well. Keep in touch.

All the best,

Robert
Hello Ruth, and welcome from me too.

Having input from social services is not always a negative thing, and if they can help your grandmother to stay in her home with homecare support then that would be a good thing. It is also good to have them on your side should your stepfather decide to force the carehome issue.

Hope you enjoy the forum. You will find some really good friends here.

Take care
Meg
Hi Ruth,and welcome. The above advice is good,and Carers UK is a great place to get the advice you need.The Forum is also a great place to chat,share thoughts,have a laugh,cry,moan.Hope you find it useful. Image Image Image
hi ruth you are realy great to look after your grandmother the way you do i look after my wife she is on oxygen and like you she has more medical problems it is hared what you are doing and you will get throu it in one way or anouther becouse you have to ruth if you want a chat you can leave a message on here or you can send me a (pm)a rersonal message we may be abel to help you ok ruth take care i look forward to speak to you if you wish Image Image Image