Trudy, I was once a multiple carer.
All four parents lived locally, all entitled to highest DLA Care, one too stubborn to apply!
Son had severe learning difficulties.
By the time 3 parents had died, I was recently widowed and disabled, left to run our business and 30 tons of lorry spares, and mum had been housebound for years.
Counselling helped me set clear priorities, and made me realise that I too had a right to a life, I should not have to spend all my time running around mum and son.
My son had to come first, because he couldn't speak up for himself.
Mum didn't like this, but had to agree it was true. So mum had carers 3 times a day, a gardener, and a girl to do her shopping and ironing. I was responsible for all mum's money, because she didn't want to deal with it herself!
My role was more of a care manager for mum, I didn't provide any hands on care, but supported her, picked her flowers and her soft fruit (carers would buy raspberries but not pick mum's home grown!), bought her nighties and anything else she needed.
Your role needs to change, so you too MANAGE their care but don't try and do it all yourself.