I am full time caring for my husband who has chronic pain syndrome, syringomyelia, and ME.
I work to try and provide an income, and have my own battles with depression and PTSD.
For the last year the DWP have made my life miserable regarding their investigation in my claim for Carers, with the threat of prosecution.
I’m exhausted, and I need a break. I’ve not had a break from caring for about 5 years, apart from a few days when he has been hospitalised. My husband refuses to allow me to take a break. He refuses to discuss Respite because it won’t suit him. My mother is 93 and frail, but he won’t entertain the fact that I want to see her, and at some point will need to look after her affairs and arrange/attend her funeral. I’ve not seen her for 3 years. He has become really horrible, calls me terrible names and swears about what I am. He is on opiate pain relief. He has a naturally selfish streak to his character, and I believe the drugs he takes have made this worse. He will not get out of bed except for the toilet. He will not shower. He has poor appetite. Nothing is more important than my care of him above everything and everyone else. If I mention the need for a respite care break, he will rant and swear at me, degrading me. I feel so bad that I have such negative feelings about him nowadays, and even wish he could become poorly and need hospital so that I can get him out of the house, and never take him back. He has an obsession with pain, calls for pain relief the moment he has a twinge, and I have to drop everything and get to his bedside immediately or else I get slagged off. In hospital they can’t provide this exacting level of care that he demands. I think you get a good idea of the dilemma. I don’t wish him harm, I continue to provide the care needed, but I am so unhappy with his outlook, and am questioning if I want to live with him anymore. I work from home, and do not want, or feel I should leave our home. Any practical thoughts welcome x
I work to try and provide an income, and have my own battles with depression and PTSD.
For the last year the DWP have made my life miserable regarding their investigation in my claim for Carers, with the threat of prosecution.
I’m exhausted, and I need a break. I’ve not had a break from caring for about 5 years, apart from a few days when he has been hospitalised. My husband refuses to allow me to take a break. He refuses to discuss Respite because it won’t suit him. My mother is 93 and frail, but he won’t entertain the fact that I want to see her, and at some point will need to look after her affairs and arrange/attend her funeral. I’ve not seen her for 3 years. He has become really horrible, calls me terrible names and swears about what I am. He is on opiate pain relief. He has a naturally selfish streak to his character, and I believe the drugs he takes have made this worse. He will not get out of bed except for the toilet. He will not shower. He has poor appetite. Nothing is more important than my care of him above everything and everyone else. If I mention the need for a respite care break, he will rant and swear at me, degrading me. I feel so bad that I have such negative feelings about him nowadays, and even wish he could become poorly and need hospital so that I can get him out of the house, and never take him back. He has an obsession with pain, calls for pain relief the moment he has a twinge, and I have to drop everything and get to his bedside immediately or else I get slagged off. In hospital they can’t provide this exacting level of care that he demands. I think you get a good idea of the dilemma. I don’t wish him harm, I continue to provide the care needed, but I am so unhappy with his outlook, and am questioning if I want to live with him anymore. I work from home, and do not want, or feel I should leave our home. Any practical thoughts welcome x