hi long term carer

[fizzy lizzie]

Hi my name is Liz I live in Ayrshire Scotland . I have been a carer for my mother for the last 13 years . She had a massive stroke almost 30 years ago . My father cared for her for 16 years till he died in 1996 since then my mum has lived with me . She is parlysed down right side and lost all her speech ,except aye and no , at least you can ask her questions . Is she one of the longest stroke survivors ? When mum came to live with me i had a husband and 2 teenage girls , who have now all flown the nest . Now it's mum and i on our own . I have got very good daycare and respite in place , though it took years to get it all set up . Now my only problem is at a crossroads in my life i don't know what to do with myself . I do feel a fraud writing this as i know i am lucky to have everything in place for mum but at 52 i don't know where to start have been caring for so long . Must just be feeling sorry for myself .

[ChristineA]

I don't think you are feeling sorry for yourself, its as you say, you've been a carer for so long, its like losing your own identity for a long time. Lets face it, when you are caring for someone, it does take over your life completely. Is there anything in particular that you would like to do with yourself now that you have the time? How about a course in something that you like. Or even if you don't want to work, volunteering at your local hospital is really helpful. You get to meet some lovely people and it helps you as well as them.

And you're not a fraud for being patient enough to get all the help in order - well done for that, I wish I had asked for help sooner instead of plodding on and pretending I was coping. I'm sure some of the others will reply to you, they are probably much more experienced in advising people than I am. Well done for coping so well with what must be a massive problem.

Chris

[rosemary]

Welcome to the forum Liz.

This link is about what to do when a caring role ends. I know this not the case for you but you will find some relevant advice/information on there that might assist you.
Are you thinking of returning to work or is it more a case of doing something for yourself?

Rosemary

[Myrtle]

Hi Liz and welcome to the forum

[krys]

Hi Liz welcome to the forum

[Scally]

Hi Liz, and welcome. I used to live near Dalmellington for ten years, moved to Kilsyth in North Lanarkshire in 1999. Lots of brilliant carers here from Ayrshire, well at least two I know anyway!

[fluffycat]

Hello and welcome

[fizzy lizzie]

hi everyone thanks for the welcomes all carers are great . Ayrshire rocks !!!

[poppett]

Welcome to the forum.

Hope you meet lots of nice new virtual friends. We Scots must stick together.

I live in the highlands now, but was born on the Isle of Bute.

Take care
Meg

[weeamazon]

hi and welcome from another newbie.......other side of Scotland