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Hi. I’m new here. - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Hi. I’m new here.

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Don't fret about the grandchildren, they are their parents responsibility. Keep your energy to deal with the present issue of your MIL, her needs and how to ensure she is looked after when you move out because your health is not up to caring for her. Don't put the extra stress of the grandchildren on yourselves, sort out your MIL's care or care home so you can move out, it could be emotional and upsetting having the conversations with her but people adjust.

When you are back home, don't take on too much with the grandchildren, have boundaries. My aunt and uncle ended up from helping out once in a while to being full time childminders and had to tell the parents no more, the kids are your responsibility, because it was too much for them to be full time carers for them.
On the subject of finances, does your husband have Power of Attorney?
I have one grandchild, now 10. I'm the only grandparent he sees. Two are dead, the other one lives a long way away.
He has given me a whole new outlook on life, when I'm with him, I can forget about many worries and concentrate on giving him a happy time, as my grandparents did me.
One day, hopefully long in the future, he will inherit my house. He loves being here with me and his dad, my eldest son.
He is also very, very kind to M, my brain damaged son.

Grandchildren deserve happy relaxed grandparents to give them another view of the world.
My dad's mum was physically so unlike me, tiny, aiming to weigh 7 stone. I weigh double! But mentally she is the person I take after most, almost like she lives on in me in a way none of the others do. We spent lots of time together, walking in the Devon countryside, making jam, giving me a love of sewing and craft things, learning about flowers, the way the human body worked (she was a physiotherapist and radiographer) and so much more. She was determined, strong willed, and always spoke her mind - definitely a lot of her in me!!!

I think you NEED more time with the grandchildren. Childhood is so fleeting, I can't believe A will soon be 10 years old.
Your children also need you, and vice versa, not as baby sitters, but as their parents, to confide in, and you them.
You don't want them to say "You were always too busy with gran to....."

Mum should not be allowed to take all this away from you.