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how to get local carers service to reply to phone call - Carers UK Forum

how to get local carers service to reply to phone call

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Hi im new to the site and really needing some help. My mam has recently been diagnosed with vascular dementia brought on by a stroke in july. Its been a hard fight to get care for her as social services are on a tight budget. Her cpn has pushed social worker to help with bathing meal making and medication. I have a number of illnesses that often see me bed bound. With my husband working full time and caring for me and my 2 children its very hard. I get no help from social services for my needs. Hubby gets no help and now i am expected to be mams carer. I rang my local carers service was told they would ring me back. 2 weeks later still no reply. Cpn pushed social services to do carers assessment but social worker said carers service will do it she would chase them up. I had a missed call from service rang straight back but had to leave a message 2 weeks on still cant get advice. Mam has been to falls clinic today and has been given excercises to do twice a day but must be supervised. I am house bound carer who giver her her meals doesnt have time. Im really at a loss. Can anyone please advice what i should do
Would respite care for your mum be possible do you think? It would give you some breathing space (and respite for yourself!) to organise long term care for her - and her care needs, sadly, are likely to increase both with age and the (inevitabler?) progression of her horrible disease, dementia. You might also find that she does very well in respite care, and is happy and contented - in which case, long term care might be the 'solution' to her situation!

There are quite a few people on this board who are in similar situations to you - ie, they are not 100% well themselves, and have obligations to immediate family like partners and children, so I'm sure they will be here to answer you shortly.

I think you are already, grimly, discovering the underlying truth about care - that if the social workers sense ANY 'weakness' in relatives, they will rush to 'dump' the caree on the family (hurrah!) - irrespective of any difficulty it may cause the family!!! - and rush off to the next person on their (endless) list.

I would say you will probably (definitely?) want to sit down with your husband one evening and discuss the long-term implications of what is going to happen, the toll it will take, if you assume the 'primary carer' role for your mother? As I say, her prognosis is inevitably one of increasing deterioriation - though that may be halted and even stabilised possibly??? (others here will know!), and, as I say, that will put increasing burdens on you and your husband/children.

Whatever the behaviour of the social workers, remember ALWAYS that YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE YOUR MOTHER'S CARER!!!!! You DO have the 'legal option' of simply 'walking away' and letting them sort it! I'm not saying this is what you 'should' do, or even that you might want to do it, it's just that the bottom line is you do NOT have a 'duty of care' towards your parents. That is the 'gun' you can - and sadly probably will have to! - hold to the heads of the social workers, in order for them to accept the lesser of two evils (ie, taking total responsibility for her themselves!) which is to provide you with the support you need.

Your own health MUST come first, for your children and husband - and even if you do look after your mother, if your health deterioriates, that will make it more difficult (impossible?) to do anythign for her.

Kind regards, Jenny
What a mess. I'd suggest writing to Social Services requesting an URGENT reassessment of mum's needs, so that mum is totally independent of you, for obvious reasons. Also ask, in the same letter, for an URGENT Carers and Needs assessment for you, because if you are housebound, you clearly can't care for mum! Also ask for mum to have a "Continuing Care Assessment" from the NHS. (Google Continuing Care Checklist). Send the letter Recorded Delivery, and send a copy to the Complaints Department at the LA head office. I was once expected to care for mum when I'd just had major surgery and the consultant banned me from caring for mum for at least a year, so I fully understand your situation.
Thank you so much i might visit my gp and see if he can write a letter or speak to social services too. I just feel like there is no support and when i do contact organisations you wait weeks to hear anything. Because ive been having complete rest to be able to get mam to appointments they think i am with her 24/7. When i tell the social worker im really not well she just says aw bless ya. Thank you for the advice i will get onto it tomorrow xx
We none of us like to moan and its always easier to understate our problems, but this is one time that you really must tell social services like it is. Saying that you are not well could just mean that you have a nasty cold, so SS are going to dismiss it. You need to spell out exactly what the problems are and make it quite plain that you are not able to care for her, or they won't take you seriously.
When you write to them, tell them that you need an urgent assessment and an important phrase to use is that they have "a duty of care towards vulnerable people".
I hope you get it sorted soon.
Hiya ive chased up carers local service they didnt get the message to ring me. I explained everything and she said doesnt like there is any more help than ive already got. She is going to speak to social worker i need to tell mine tomorrow but looks like if i want help its going to cost. Could take up to 11 weeks for dla decision so i could use my xmas savings to pay for pa while i am house bound and loose it all if she doesnt get dla.
judith_1410 wrote:Hiya ive chased up carers local service they didnt get the message to ring me. I explained everything and she said doesnt like there is any more help than ive already got. She is going to speak to social worker i need to tell mine tomorrow but looks like if i want help its going to cost. Could take up to 11 weeks for dla decision so i could use my xmas savings to pay for pa while i am house bound and loose it all if she doesnt get dla.

Hi Judith

you don't say how old your Mum is, but if she is over 65 she could be eligible for Attendance Allowance - see here: https://www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance/overview

It isn't means tested and is disallowed for income tax purposes. The money can be used for virtually anything - my Mum used hers to pay for a gardener and window cleaner and used to give me some towards my petrol .
They aren't doing things properly. Regardless of whether they "think" she's getting the maximum, they still have a legal duty to do a formal assessment...and it should be updated annually, or whenever it seems needs have changed.
Please don't spend your own money on your mother. Her care is not your financial responsibility. Either she has enough money to pay for her own care, or else she doesn't, in which case it is the responsibility of the state.

If you pay for her care, SS will be SOOOOOOO happy.

As I say, rememer that the ultimate gun you hold to their head is that you can just WALK AWAY from ANYTHING to do with your mother!

SS is trying to 'fool' you into panicing and paying for your mother's care out of your own money. DO NO DO IT. This is NOT your problem. (She's your mother, but she's not your problem.....)(though SS will try and make you think it is because they don't want to sort this problem which is THEIRS)(unless you mother has sufficient finances to pay for her own care.)
:silly:
If push comes to shove she can go into hospital or into care. You have NO legal responsibility for her and never will!!!!

Stay strong, and don't give in on this.
So true Jenny, I was talking to someone else at the weekend who thought he could be forced to pay his granddad's care bills! For anyone in any doubt, chapter and verse can be found in the CRAG regulations, Charging for Residential Accommodation Guide to give it's full name. I only found out about it relatively recently, and now I try and make everyone aware of it's existence, to make sure we all know the truth about who is responsible for residential care. By using the information in the guide, and challenging the LA, I saved mum £8,000 in one afternoon meeting!!!