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Hi i'm a newbie - Carers UK Forum

Hi i'm a newbie

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi everyone It has taken me a while to get the courage to register and post on this forum but i really feel that I need to start talking rather than keeping quiet and getting on with it like I have for the last four years. I need to start talking to people that know what I am going through . Image I have been a carer for my mum for the last four years after we lost my dad to motor neurone disease. That was the hardest thing I have ever faced and it has changed my life. Is it normal to feel this bad still? . My mother is house-bound and I care for her on a daily basis. I live with her and my 10 year old daughter in her home. I just feel that I am don't know who or what I am doing anymore. I feel guilty because I have to make sure my mum is cared for but my daughters life is being put on hold. I will do it for as long as I have too but it is affecting me and my mum is so proud she will only have me look after her. Any advice would be gratefully welcomed Image
Hi Caroline and welcome Image

Yes, its still normal to feel the way you do at the moment. I care for my mum also.

You will find lots of help and support here on the forum. There will be others along soon to give you a warm welcome too.

Hi Caroline and welcome.

I'm a carer for my elderly dad, but I live in my own house with my daughter. Being a carer can be hard, but it sounds as though you are doing a great job, caring for your mum.

Take care and best wishes RRB
Welcome Caroline,
Although it is my wife I care for,I know how hard it is to bring up a child at the same time.
Caring affects everyone in some way,none of us are super human and I have felt guilt at times too.
It took me a long time to admit to myself I needed support.
Everyone will give you lots of support here and a warm welcome.
Hello caroline
my mum is so proud she will only have me look after her
That is so common - the caree not allowing anyone else to care for them, but it makes life difficult for you and doesnt allow you any time for your daughter.
Hello Caroline,
Same here with my mum not wanting anyone else looking after her. It's hard and you do change as time goes on and you go through every kind of emotion and have every thought.
One brilliant book to read is The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring. It's so well written and has a humourous element to it that it's like having another carer with you who gets what you're going through. The reason for the title is that the author regards their caree as the Person I Give Love and Endless Therapy to.. hence P.I.G.L.E.T. Image
Hi caroline, and welcome it's perfectly normal to feel guilt etc and to forget who you are.
I think you need to start looking into some kind of care for your mum, not to replace you but in addition to you, for your sake and your daughters. Once you mum gets used to it, she will probably be fine. I care for my husband, who has copd, asbestosis and severe arthritis, and many of us here on the forum are trying to juggle things, so you wlll find plenty of support.
Love Phoebe x