Hi I am new here and probably here for the same reason as yo

[tony]

jjjjjjjj

[rosemary]

I have no intention of seeing a counseller I am not that sort of person

First of all Tony so sorry your message went unanswered,must have slipped through the net so to speak.

You do not have to be a sort of person to see a counsellor.I know several members here have visited one and benefitted from it.Always down to the individual of course.
Have you tried your GP,they can possibly help too.
The samaritans can be a good help too.Many people think they are only there for emergencies but that is not the case.Can help talking things over.If you would like more information please say so.

One little thing to remember Tony is that the forum is open to anyone reading so you may want to think over just how much personal information you wish to share.If at any time you post something and regret it, you do have the option of editting it at a later time.

Take care
Rosemary


.

[charles47]

Welcome to the forum Tony.

I agree with Rosemary - talking it over can help. Counselling is often seen as being similar to seeing a psychiatrist: something you only do when you're mentally ill. It's not true.

It's about talking to someone who will not judge you and will not tell you what to do, but will help you to talk things over and, if appropriate, find your own solutions.

Even so, it's not for everyone but it is worth considering, at least.

[Debbie M.]

Hi Tony - as a new member to the forum, I am finding it incredibly comforting just reading through other posts and realising that even though our personal situations are very diverse we are all here for understanding and support. You say you have a close circle of good friends but you are wary of talking to them for fear of embarrassing them. I really don't think you will embarrass them in the slightest, in fact perhaps the feelings of embarrassment are on your part(?) and that is what is holding you back but I feel certain they would very much want to listen and help but perhaps they feel that you might be reluctant if they offer in what is such a personal and sensitive situation. If they are close and true friends they will feel only compassion and will welcome the opportunity to know they are doing something positive to help someone for whom they care. A lovely lady I knew always used to say that sometimes we have to take in order to allow others to give and I am sure your friends will be more than willing to give you the support you need.

[Lesley]

Tony
I just want to add my voice to all the replies that have been posted to your message.
Please take Charles' comments to heart. Counsellors are not there to judge - they are there to help and listen; just verbalising things often shows you your own way forward without anyone else having to tell you. Plus, counsellors do not have all the answers anyway, but they usually know a person, a book or a technique which can help.
And I agree with Rosemary that your GP should your first port of call in this.
I met with a counsellor for a number of years - when I started I was v-e-r-y wary of counselling and reluctant to embark upon it; but my GP was very supportive and advised it was the best way forward for me. Quite simply, I wouldn't be here today without counselling.

But also, as Debbie says, please don't underestimate your friends - there may be one or two just waiting for you to say the word and they will help. They may be holding back as they don't want to intrude.

Finally, if you want to communicate by email with someone on the forum, then please remember, as Rosemary says the PM (personal messaging) part. I use it a lot when I don't want to bother the whole world with something which only affects me.
Please take care, Tony, and keep in touch.
Best,
Lesley