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Hi from Coventry - Carers UK Forum

Hi from Coventry

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
As a new comer to this forum and having read a number of posts I feel a bit of a fraud as so many of you have problems much worse than mine.
My main tasks since 2000 has been to look after my wife Jill at home 24/7 as general cook and bottle washer. Jill has a brain tumour, epilepsy and diabetes which causes restrictive movement,poor balance and very little memory either short or long.
The last 18 months has been easier, having help from a care company to wash and dress jill morning and evening 3/4hr and 1/2hr respectively I also get 4hrs per week for domestic care which allows me to do my shopping and pleasure upon pleasure 2hrs per week for myself. I feel that our practical needs are well met but I am very lonely and would like to met other carers to interact with and also be able to offer some stimulus to my wife as I am sure that she is as bored as I am.
thank you for reading this post I hope that you may have some ideas
best wishes
Deri
Hi Deri,

I too have described myself as a 'lightweight' carer - but even we have to deal with pressures that the general population have not even thought about. Just for one, spending most of your days with someone with little short-term memory can get very wearing. Then there is the effect on you of always needing to be aware when your wife needs help or support. So don't knock yourself, there are too many people about ready to do it for you!

I am a 'housekeeper-plus' for my father, who is 81 and restricted to a wheelchair, he also cannot reach up, and is a Type 2 diabetic. His short-term memory is getting steadily worse, so we have had occasions when he accuses me of not telling him something, which at first I found difficult to deal with. The feeling of what someone called 'having half an ear open all the time', to know when Dad is trying to do something that could result in minor chaos, is very well known to me. Then there is the other judgement which can be tough - when not to help too much.

It sounds like you have got things well sorted out on the practical side, which must help you concentrate on your 'quality time' with Jill. Is it possible for the two of you to go out together?

There are people around here who can very quickly pull out contact details for Carers' Support Groups in any area - they will be here soon, for sure!
Hi Deri, and welcome.

There is a Carers Centre in your area - follow this link from the Carers UK website:

http://www.carersuk.org/Information/Fin ... s/Coventry

Personally, I don't consider a 24/7 carer to be a "lightweight"!
Welcome to the forum Deri,

Please don't describe yourself as a fraud, from what you've already told us you are a committed carer for your wife - yes we all have our own caring issues but that's what binds us together as a group.

I look forward to hearing more about you and your lovely wife Jill.

Take care

Paula xx
Welcome to the forum Deri,

You sound like your a very committed carer & from what you have described your wife Jill sounds like a lovely lady. I'm sure you will both get the support you need even if its only a listening ear it sometimes helps to share things.
I look forward to chatting to you both.

Take care Deb xx Image
thank you for you kind support and words of encouragement it's good to hear how others cope with their lives. With reference to The Coventry Carers association I am a member but I find that their main help is in the financial area and I think I have covered all the bases on that score.
What I really need to find is a local group to where we live, so that we both could get involved in even if I have to set one up myself does anyone have any experience in this type of group good or bad
all for now
Deri
Don't know of any groups in your area but I'd be surprised if your Carers Centre didn't know of any in your patch.