Hi from an old worn out fellow carer

[Koala]

Hi,

I hope that I am allowed to be here, as I live in Australia. I was, however, born in England. My mother, for whom I care, is also English.

I have cared for my mother, who is 92, for ten years, completely alone, and without one day off. I have no support system of friends, family, or neighbours. Over the years I have searched for a Carers Group, but it seems that such a thing doesn't exist in Australia. I feel that it would be nice to talk to other people who understand what caring means because they are Carers. I think I'm a little tired of trying to explain it to non-carers. They might be professionals and very sympathetic, but they can't truly undertand my life.

My mother, thankfully, is in general good health. We have two rescue dogs, a chihuahua and a terrier, and a cat. The chihuahua and the cat are, in cat and dog terms, elderly.

I hope that this is enough of an introduction.

[Kiwigaz]

Gidday Koala (sorry I had to do that).

Everyone is welcome on here and it doesn't matter where you come from or came from. Look at me I am a kiwi living in the UK looking after my mother, so if I am allowed on here then anyone is

I completely understand now what you mean about being on your own without any support network. Since I became an official carer (I had been looking after my mother for a couple of years beforehand), my so called friends have completely deserted me even ones that I have had for over 30 years.
Carers have something worse than the plague - it is called compassion, highly contagious and therefore must be avoided at all costs

I did reside in Brisbane for 4.5 years until I came back here, however not needing a carers association I am not sure where you can go to get some respite.
I used to work for the Australian Red Cross and they are very good and may be able to assist you with further investigation.
Hats off to you Koala for an excellent job for 10 years without a break, however we all need some "me" time and I hope that you get some - mine is in the early mornings and evenings, plus I have just got a part time job - gives us something to chat about.

Again welcome aboard and hope you enjoy your stay

[bowlingbun]

G'day from me too. Whereabouts do you live? Former resident of Wickham, in the Pilbara, working in Roebourne Hospital, three of the happiest years of my life. My husband worked for Robe River Iron, mending the largest trucks and plant in the world. Once drove 9,000 miles in five weeks going to Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne, Ballarat, Sydney, and home again! Last visited in 2005, when we toured Victoria, SA and WA. I have a friend in WA who cares for her very elderly mum. She is full of praise for the respite system there, apparently she is entitled of right to a lot of respite every year in a care/nursing home. I have a son with severe learning difficulties, now 34 years old. Toward the end of their lives all four of our parents, living close by, were poorly for a long time. Just mum left now, in hospital about to go into full time nursing care - and right now I'm running around after her even more than ever, sorting out her house, washing, and negotiating various things. I find not being able to do the things I want to do, especially travel to see my friends in WA, incredibly frustrating. A caged bird desperate to fly.

[tracie]

Hi and welcome

[Koala]

Thank you so much for your replies. It's strange, but you're the first carers I've ever spoken to.

Thank you for saying something about yourselves. I understand the disappearing friends, and a little of Bowlingbun's running around. (My father died in a nursing home around 1997.) I really understand being a caged bird.

I live in Melbourne, in a rather quiet street in a rather quiet suburb. A little too quiet perhaps. I sometimes wish the neighbours would do something really exciting, but the most we ever get is the man next door mowing his lawn.

Please forgive me that this reply isn't very good. I'm a little shy by nature, and also, as I began to type this I got a migraine. I've just got Mum in bed, luckily, so the rest of the night is my own, and a migraine isn't going to get me down.

Congratulations on the job, Kiwigaz.

[crocus]

Hi Koala, of course you are welcome here. Its called carersUK only because its based here, not because only UK people can come on - the more the merrier
I care for my husband who has an acquired brain injury following a road accident nearly 20 yrs ago. I am working part-time, but I know what you mean about frustration. I always say that my work is my respite
Everyone on here knows what it is like to care for someone and we all understand the challenges. Do have a look around the site and feel free to post anywhere you like, or start a new topic if you want to talk about something in particular.

[juneo]

Hi Koala ,
welcome to the forum , i dont think it matters where in the world we live ,we are all in the same boat , I look after my Dad who at the moment is in Hospital he is 95, this Forum has been a lifeline to me , i dont feel so alone anymore , so join in wherever you want to .
Oh , i also have Family in Adelaide,they were £10 poms in the late 50s , i think

[Sajehar]

Hi Koala,

I'm a newbee, only been caring for mum full-time since June. You're a hero for having done so for ten years!!!
Mum says hello, she has a nephew living in Sydney. Now she wants me to track his family down?
She's demanding I go on that Facebook she's heard so much about. I've no idea about Facebook... looks like I'm going to have to find out about it. I ballsed up my first attempt to join and have left it alone ever since.

[Dancedintherain]

Emailing newspapers to track down relies is another option and FB is ok when you get used to it. Just a thought or two.....

[Koala]

Everyone, a million thanks for your replies. You can't possibly understand how much they've meant to me. And this site is like heaven. People talk about my real world and not some distant fantasy life that I've long since forgotten.

I think I'm a ten pound Pom. I arrived in Oz on a steamship in 1959.

As I'm English, I use Ancestry UK for my family tree. It's great, and I'm guessing the Oz version is equally good.

Sajehar, by my calculations it's five months and that makes you a Hero too.

G'day Sajehar's Mum. Finding lost family is fun, so go for it. Hugs to you and to everyone.