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Hi everyone, - Carers UK Forum

Hi everyone,

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Recently found this forum and gave it long hard thoughts before joining. I have been a full time carer for the past two years and part time for a few years before that.

A bit about me. Up until four years ago, I had been self employed as a Decorator/Designer and travelled all over UK and Europe doing my work. Hard work but I enjoyed it. But long hours with continuous days and weeks meant something had to give. I ended up suffering with stress, exhaustion and panic attacks. Not long after this I had a massive fall out with my business partner and left our Company.

Poodled along for a while, doing bits here and there. Then my husband developed a cough which wouldn't clear. We decided to go away for our anniversary and had been at the hotel for about 3 hours when my husband collapsed and ended up in hospital, miles away from home for 3 weeks then a further 2 weeks in our local hospital. Turned out he had blood clots on his lungs.

Since then he has developed chronic lung problems and is now on the waiting list for a lung transplant. He a deterioated severly over the past 6 months He is on high flow oxygen 24 hours a day and cannot walk more than 10 very slow paces without gasping for breath and turning a lovely shade of blue Image . Today he gave in and let me get him a commode.

Along with my dad developing Prostrate Cancer, my Step father passing away, my step sister recovering from a masectomy and developing MS, one son getting a severe hernia and the other slipping a disc and my daughter suffering with depression, I can, hand on heart, say this year sucks!

And yes, everyone on the outside thinks I a coping really well Image

Anyway, enough, deep breath and r e l a x.

I look forward to 'meeting' you all.
Hi Dragon Lady,
Welcome to our forum. I'm one of many here whose caring role has increased significantly through the years. My husband and I lived within six miles of both sets of parents, as they got older we did more and more to support them. Sadly three of them have died, and my husband too, leaving just mum, currently in hospital. In addition, I have an adult son with severe learning difficulties.
Hi Dragon Lady,
You truly have had an aranus horibilis (or whatever the queen calls it.) Joining the forum will be a godsend to you, I guarantee it. I joined in September, and I swear to god that doing so has saved my sanity.
I've only been a f/t carer since June (p/t for about 2.5 years before that) and it was doing my head in. I care for mum who has Spirit Wonderings (my name for dementia as I HATE that word) and kind of for dad, who has/had prostrate cancer. He's been given the all clear now, but is on medication for life which causes a whole bunch of other problems.

How on earth do you cope? Even dragons need to let off steam, so welcome to the forum and fire away. I did, and it did me the world of good.

Regarding your hubby, there's this ace thread called 'The Commode Club.' It's in the 'Members Only' bit of forum. I reckon it would be a lifesaver for you. Why don't you check it out? Assuming you haven't already.

Sajahar x
Welcome and yep this last year certainly sucks. Not the anniversary celebration you both had in mind:(((
Cruel ... Lung problems. Watching your man deteriorate like this must be excruciatingly painful for you too.
I have seen that blue face after the tiniest of energy spent .... And know how scary it is.
How heartbreaking to see and care for someone so weakened. protecting his dignity is another aspect you are dealing with.

Waiting for a transplant. I hope this happens soon and that all goes well.

DR
Hi and welcome
Hello and welcome Image
Hi Dragon-lady. It certainly has been a very tough time for you. You've really done so well to have coped.