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Hi Everyone. - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Hi Everyone.

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Welcome, Linda, I understand entirely. I am still trying to live my life while caring for mother. Your comments re relatives is a sore point at the moment. My mother's brother (who visits max twice a year) has just suggested to her that she should not live alone and that I should move in. This is exactly what she would love! With the help of twice-daily carers, it is what I am trying to avoid. It is essential that you get some time to yourself, if only to be a better carer. We are not saints, just trying our best in trying circumstances . . .
I've heard all the footie nasties before Linda. Image Image Rant away about relatives as much as you want. We're always here to listen.

Thanks Audrey. I guess we all have rellies that are annoying when it comes to helping out with the caring. I'm probably more lucky than some as my brother and my nephew do give me the day off on a Saturday. But all my brother has to do is make her breakfast and lunch and make sure she has a drink for Saturday night. I cook her some things to nibble on for her tea and her supper and I sort out the tablets for her into little glasses. So they have very little to do. As they are men my mam tends to go on her commode and change her pads when they are not there. All I want from my brother and his wife is to acknowledge that I do work hard. I saw my brother at my mam's the other day and I had done the calculation on how much I was worth on the home page and I was telling my mam. My brother never said anything. My mam did tell me that she's been trying to tell him how much I do for her but whether it's gone in or not, who knows. As for my mam wanting me all the time, it's been worse since my dad died in October last year. My brother and his wife have been talking about moving to Spain and said that they would take my mam for a few months to give me a rest but I've told him that she won't go anywhere without me. They have had several weekends away already this year and I would love to visit my niece in Scotland for a weekend without my mam but I'm not going to ask them. I'd rather they offered then I know they want to do it instead of feeling like they've been forced into looking after my mam. Of course I still need my mam to ok it as well. She tells me that they aren't as good at things as I am. But I told ther they would be if they did it every day like I do and she had to agree. The problem I have when taking my mam our is getting her into my car. If anyone has any suggestions I'm all ears.
What sort of problem do you have getting her into the car?
We've been through quite a few different ways, though I admit the last solution is the best, in fact the only one now. Wheelchair access vehicle......put the ramp down, push him in, ramp up and off we go Image
Unfortunately I can't afford a vehicle like that. It's getting her legs in that's the problem. she can't move them very well and they feel a dead weight when I'm trying to get her into the car. I'm just a little squirt and haven't got a lot of muscle. Image The money my mam gets is what she pays me to look after her. If we went for having a car every 2 years she would lose the money.
Welcome to another Linda, I too care for my Mum - she came to live with my Family at Christmas with a view to building her an annexe in our garden - it is about halfway finished. I think this is probably the best solution for caring for Mum we could have come up with.

Things get a little strained in the house sometimes - mostly the rest of the family feeling resentful that she takes up too much of my time.

When she sits in, with her legs still out, can she swivel her bum round at all? Or are you lifting legs and swivelling at the same time?

Re muscle, I'm a little squirt too but these days I pack a lot of muscle Image
Hi Myrtle. I sit her on the seat and try to swivel her legs in but everywhere I touch is painful. We try and get one leg in at a time and, with a struggle, I get her in. I tried one of those swivel cushions thinking it would be a great idea but the car seat is not completely flat and the swivel cushion is too big to sit in the flat part.

Hi to another Linda looking after her mam. It seems as if us Linda's are destined to be family carers. There used to be an elderly couple living next door to my parents until they both died. Although they had a large family, it was one daughter who looked after both of them and she was called Linda. Must be our lot in life. Image
We had one of those swivel seats too and they are not something I would recommend as it didn't fit the car seat well, it moved forwards and even with the padding was uncomfortable to sit on.
But failing that it could be you need a car hoist, all different sorts of which are available, but we get to talking expensive Image