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Hi Everyone. - Carers UK Forum

Hi Everyone.

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi. I'm new here so please bear with me. My name is Linda . I'm 52 years old and single with no children. I live in Northumberland and I take care of my mother who is elderly and disabled. I used to take care of both of my parents but my dad died in October last year. Just before he died he had been diagnosed with Dementia With Lewy Body and was having loads of hallucinations. My main likes are football, theatre and comedy. I support Newcastle United for my sins. My main gripe I have about being a carer for my mother is that my brother and his wife seem to think that I don't work hard and, if I react, I get told, 'well, you get paid for it'. This was my brother's reaction after he said that his wife needed a weekend away and I said I would love a weekend away and he said well, she works hard. ????????? It really made me angry. Has anyone else had this reaction to them caring for a family member?
Hiya Linda and a warm welcome to the forum from a Sunderland supporter. Image Your main gripe is a common one amongst carers. Roll call on carer to carer is a good place to get to know us all. Look forward to getting to know you more.

Karen
Welcome aboard Linda.

I have editted your post to remove some of the personal details you gave. The forum is open so best to err on side of caution

x
Sorry Rosemary. i wasn't sure what I should put. I'll be careful from now on. I'm not used to writing in forums.
Hi No1mum. I promise not to be nasty just because you support Sunderland. lol I look forward to getting to know everyone and hopefully get some advice that might help me look after my mother or help me not feel so alone. My brother and his wife do annoy me at times so please forgive me if I have a rant now and then. I just wish I could get through to them how much I do. But I feel that whatever I say they just won't listen. They are too wrapped up in themselves.
Hi Linda and welcome.
Hi Linda,

Welcome to the Forum. Image

Understand what you're saying completely.

Looking forward to getting to know you.

Sezzie.
HI Linda and welcome to the forum

I care for my Mum (87 with Alzheimer's) and know where you're coming from.
My brother and his wife do annoy me at times so please forgive me if I have a rant now and then. I just wish I could get through to them how much I do. But I feel that whatever I say they just won't listen. They are too wrapped up in themselves.
I have the same problem with my sister and bro-in-law - they've just come back from a 3 week cruise - I'd just like a 3 day break Image To be fair my sister does come and sit with Mum twice a week so that I can get out for a few hours, and has stayed here twice with Mum so that I could have a weekend away - but that's the sum total for the last 4 years.

To some people (usually our relatives) caring seems to be the 'easy' option - apparantly we sit on our butts all day doing s0d all Image but as we know - chance would be a fine thing Image Image

Rant away - nothing to forgive Image
Thanks everyone. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one with family who think we do very little all day. I'm sure my brother and sister-in-law think I sit around all day just talking to my mam. But they forget that there's just one of me looking after 2 houses (I have my own place to look after as well as my mam's) but there's two of them looking after one house. I'm hoping that maybe I can pick up some tips to help me look after my mam better.
The only problem I have is that my mam doesn't want anyone else, just me. My brother and his son take turns looking after her on a Saturday so that I have one day off a week. But she doesn't even want that. If I offered to be there 24/7 she would jump at the chance. But I need to have my space and my life as well.