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- Member
Fri Sep 17, 2021 8:25 pm
Hi everybody
I’m new on here, it’s the first time Iv ever been on & read some of the posts that I couldn’t believe how much resembled myself. I live with my mum and daughter. My. Mum is 86 with Alzheimer’s dementia and very bad tempered, slamming doors, head strong and refusing to admit she needs any kind of help when she is also blind in one eye and partially deaf to. I am 50. My daughter is 23 and training to be a teacher. I suffer with depression and anxiety and also get walked on a lot by my 2 older sisters: 1 lives across the road with her husband and son happily - popping in about 2-3 times a week (about one hourly visits) and sees only the best side of our mum. She doesn’t see her bad temper and abuse etc the other sister doesn’t bother with us at all and lives 5 mins away with her lovely family: her and her husband want this house when my mum passes. My mum owns it. The house will be left to us 3 sisters equally and I don’t care about the money etc but that this sister can’t seem to wait for our mum to pass over, which upsets my mum to. You know, she is expecting her first grandchild (my sister) and makes it obvious life moves on and there is no time for mum now. As if I didn’t have enough to do - the 2 sisters slag me off constantly telling people I’m not mums carer but that my mum is helping me instead my putting a roof over my head. They will not let people know the truth that I do everything for mum and they get on with their lives and say how expensive a care home would be... but don’t thank me - in fact they really give me a hard time and we don’t speak. I do not claim carers allowance and I get nothing from anyone. My daughter gets carers allowance because she just got a car and can sometimes take mum to the shops but she works and it is me at home all day 24/7 doing all the usual as well as putting up with the wierd ways they have when they have dementia (like hiding things and accusing you etc, wondering in the night). I feel very alone. I’m so worried about my daughters health because my mum is just so abusive and hard to live with. I resent that my sisters get a different mother to me - phone calls from the oldest sister (who lives 10 mins away but never visits cos “she works”) and my mum is nice to them both. She is all there - knows who we all are and our names. It’s like living in an Alfred Hitchcock movie, I don’t tell anyone at all either.
I’m new on here, it’s the first time Iv ever been on & read some of the posts that I couldn’t believe how much resembled myself. I live with my mum and daughter. My. Mum is 86 with Alzheimer’s dementia and very bad tempered, slamming doors, head strong and refusing to admit she needs any kind of help when she is also blind in one eye and partially deaf to. I am 50. My daughter is 23 and training to be a teacher. I suffer with depression and anxiety and also get walked on a lot by my 2 older sisters: 1 lives across the road with her husband and son happily - popping in about 2-3 times a week (about one hourly visits) and sees only the best side of our mum. She doesn’t see her bad temper and abuse etc the other sister doesn’t bother with us at all and lives 5 mins away with her lovely family: her and her husband want this house when my mum passes. My mum owns it. The house will be left to us 3 sisters equally and I don’t care about the money etc but that this sister can’t seem to wait for our mum to pass over, which upsets my mum to. You know, she is expecting her first grandchild (my sister) and makes it obvious life moves on and there is no time for mum now. As if I didn’t have enough to do - the 2 sisters slag me off constantly telling people I’m not mums carer but that my mum is helping me instead my putting a roof over my head. They will not let people know the truth that I do everything for mum and they get on with their lives and say how expensive a care home would be... but don’t thank me - in fact they really give me a hard time and we don’t speak. I do not claim carers allowance and I get nothing from anyone. My daughter gets carers allowance because she just got a car and can sometimes take mum to the shops but she works and it is me at home all day 24/7 doing all the usual as well as putting up with the wierd ways they have when they have dementia (like hiding things and accusing you etc, wondering in the night). I feel very alone. I’m so worried about my daughters health because my mum is just so abusive and hard to live with. I resent that my sisters get a different mother to me - phone calls from the oldest sister (who lives 10 mins away but never visits cos “she works”) and my mum is nice to them both. She is all there - knows who we all are and our names. It’s like living in an Alfred Hitchcock movie, I don’t tell anyone at all either.
