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Hi! Caring for mother - my life is on hold. - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

Hi! Caring for mother - my life is on hold.

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Reading some of the threads I'm beginning to think that perhaps I shouldn't really be here, my plight is nowhere near as bad as some of you.

Kevin, on this forum no one is better off or worse off than anyone else. Anyone who needs support and advice gets it, so please don't be put off from posting about your situation. Image
Well said Sprinter...............and spot on!
Hi Kevin i am new also,i can understand as i feel the same as you ! up until now i feel my life has been crap ,i cant move forward as i have my gran who is 86 to look after,my mother has passed away no one wants to know her and i have a young son to look after while i try to sort my own life out as one day she isnt going to be here and i will have no one,no familly nothing,i have looked after her for over 6 years now and i have basically had enough i see the members of familly having their own life while i struggle on my own,people can sympathise but know one truely understands.my sister is a carer though she gets paid,has breaks,gets to leave even go on holiday! before i do anything ive always got to make sure she has everything even if its for one bloody night!
I have ranted now lol as i read others i feel i havnt got it that bad though at the same time i have,no one likes change however what i have realised is if something isnt working you got to find a way to change as going along the same rout isnt doing anything it just stays the same until you make small changes bit by bit,then you start to get somewhere even if you dont know where you are headed.
hope this helps.
Thank you for your comment no.1 carer, it does help.

I have managed to get a few days off. I shall be visiting a friend in south Wales on Sunday and returning on Thursday - 5 whole days! I shall be able to go walking with my little dog, do a bit of photography, if the weather lets me, and socialise with my friend and her husband, talk to people of my own age - well actually they're older than me but nowhere near as old as my Mum!

I have been able to get a carer to come in each day twice a day to sit with my Mum for an hour. It's free as well, apparently my Mum's care budget allocated by the council still had £100 or so left in the kitty so I was able to use it for the extra carers. Perhaps this information may help others in a similar position?

I should be really looking forward to it - but for some reason I'm a little apprehensive, perhaps it's just nerves, I haven't seen her for 6 years, I hope it's not guilt?

best wishes,
Hi to Kevin AND alison,

I am in the same situation as you guys,

My mum recently had a stroke, 7epileptic seizures and a heart failure episode which have all resulted in frontal lobe brain damage, loss of the use of her legs and she is very confused and repeats herself. she also has early stages dementia. Shes 68.

She ges a carer in twice a day one for an hour and the other for just half n hour. Rest of the time I am her carer which is most of the day and night.

Im struggling. I panic everytime i leave the house or even go upstairs that somethings gonna happen. When i go out i feel guilty. Its so difficult.

I hear everything you said in your posts.

Hi Christie,

I feel for you, I really do. Your poor mother, 68 is so young. You are in a much worser position than me, I wish there was something I could say (or write) that would be of any help. But thank you for your post.

This is my final post, just to say that my mother died 10 weeks ago today, on 4th March. She died in hospital, she passed away peacefully in her sleep at 3 o'clock in the morning. I was aware she wasn't going to last the night because the nurses had told me, they had stopped feeding her and stopped her medication. Although she was asleep and wasn't aware I was there I got to hold her hand and kiss her for the very last time and say goodbye. She was well into her 98th year - I miss her dearly.

God bless,
Hi Kevin, really sorry to hear of the passing of your mum, but from what i have read on this thread, she has a wonderful son, one who was there when needed, we are here if you ever need someone to talk to. RIP Kevins mum.
Thank you for coming back to update us Kevin. I am sorry for the loss you feel but can I say I am glad that mum went after you had said goodbye?

It's never easy no matter how much it is expected..you will be in my thoughts.

Take care.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Kevin.
So sorry for your loss Kevin.