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hi all new member long time carer - Carers UK Forum

hi all new member long time carer

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
we must all stick together with all these govt cuts we save them money to look after our families and they still want more.... i care for my son,wife,daughter and my mother but can only have one carers allowance,i am not greedy but i get to bed about 2.30 after travelling home from mums(get her in bed etc) i am up at 6 to get my daughter up and ready for school(shes at special school in sidestrand we live in norwich) then sort my son out (fits and waiting for addenbrooks op on brain) ,my wife can help herself but she has disabilities so i help her ,,,i visit mum 4 times a day(meals ) and as shes unable to walk i sometimes get phone calls to go round for little problems she has??? ....i run her household and mine ,shopping,doctors and other things which crop up for them ....now my big problem ,which i bet you other carers have ,what time do you get to ansewer letters and bills when i sit down and have a cuppa i doze off enough moaning i still wont have it any other way
You MUST stop this before it's too late. My husband and I helped care for five people with highest DLA for 5 years, with no support. We nicknamed ourselves the Thunderbirds. All four parents lived nearby, lurched from disaster to disaster, kept telling everyone "My son/daughter will do it". After 3 years I was so run down that I had a terrible chest infection and lost my voice for a month. Two years later I was diagnosed with a large kidney tumour and lost a kidney. Now my specialist has banned me caring full time for anyone. I found my husband DEAD in bed from a heart attack. Don't let this happen to you. Social Services must give you more support, doing nothing is not an option. They like to make you feel that you can be Superman. Long term, it's just not possible. Get in touch with your local councillor, MP, Carers UK helpline. Tell your children's school that they must help you. Remember my cautionary tale.

You are an incredible man and wonderful person and it sounds like everyone could not cope without you!!

But...... you could be heading towards meltdown what if something drastic happened to you .
definately as written before you need to get help fast go to your local council social services and get your MP on side please please before it's too late.

Blimey I thought I had my hands full looking after my mother and my daughter!

last year I watched my stepdad die of MND I would not wish that on my worst enemy.

Take care.

Liz x
David, I am astonished to read what you say. One bit of me admires you for what you are somehow managing to do. The other bit of me wants to shout, "stop!". I dont know how you keep going. I guess you dont feel you have much choice. Are there other options perhaps - sorry may be a silly question but you are doing far more than is reasonable. Has there been any involvement from Social Services perhaps ?

I can't give you answers. I just know you are doing too much for your own good. But you dont need me to tell you that. I dont know exactly what you should do. But you must do something to change the situation. I suggest using the Carers UK Advice line. And Social Services ( part of your local council ).

You can either try to change things or put up with everything. Me and others here think you really must try and change something. For your own good, David. And we'll all support you. Of that you can be sure.

With all good wishes,