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Google NHS Continuing healthcare, fast track. Ther's a good chance she is entitled to it. It doesn't have to be residential care, it can be at home. Ask the hospital or GP or both to do an assessment asap. I'm afraid you should have a plan for final arrangements, just in case. Better to think about them, but not need them, rather than the other way round. Is there a local hospice which might support her after the chemo?
Thanks bowlingbun.
She's due a CT scan in a few weeks to see how things are going, I guess depending on the outcome it may be appropriate to look into the CHC fast track after that. Funeral plans and things are already being put in place...time will tell.
I have had counselling before through work when things got tough a couple of years back (I was doing their cleaning, shopping etc) and working more hours than I do now. They got a cleaner in once a week, and we taught her how to use the Tesco shopping app on her iPad so that pressure's gone. The one thing I got out of the counselling was accepting the fact that I am not responsible for other peoples' happiness. I do feel so much guilt though - that I wasn't able to support my FIL living at home, that I'm not there more for my MIL, that I know that mine and my husbands depressive personalities have an effect on our daughter no matter how much we try to hide it, that I'm not better (or at least fit enough to help more at home and work).... These are all pressures I put on myself- no one else expects this of me, it's just the way I am and always have been but it's wearing me down.
I'll get through, one way or another. My problems are very small compared to others... it sounds as though you've had a terrible few years yourself! You sound like a very strong person xx
At one stage we had four elderly parents, all living at home, all within 6 miles, and son with LD, all entitled to highest DLA Care (one too stubborn to apply though!). All the parents have now gone, but I'm afraid my own health will never recover from those years, so I stick around to try to stop others fall into the same traps. However, I have some wonderful memories of our earlier life, free as a bird, working in Australia, and those memories sustain me in the dark days.
Have you ever been encouraged to find happiness? Write down all the things you've ever fancied doing, big and small. When I was widowed, all my old life went. I had to learn to live a "new life". There were things I wanted to do, to learn, that I'd never had time to do. To go to a live show (went to see Katherine Jenkins, great disappointment!), to learn how to sew "invisible" zips (went on a course), to swim in a warm sea (waited years, but finally made it to Crete). I make a determined effort to enjoy nature. The daffodil bulbs I planted are coming up, I have crocus, iris in the garden, the birds are twittering.
I made a Dundee cake for my son's birthday yesterday, it's turned out really well, and I'm happy with that. Happiness isn't about having everything, it's about being happy with what you've got. Maybe work on these things with your daughter too? I used to run a Brownie pack of 24 girls, everything is an adventure at that age. Think about growing some plants from seed, and watching them grow, for example.
When we were really broke and couldn't afford a holiday, we would "play holidaymakers". Armed with fishing nets, Action Man boat on a string, we would go to our local Quay, have a really pleasant afternoon, go to the playground by the river, and buy an ice cream.
We live fairly near the National Motor Museum at Beaulieu, in fact I used to be Special Visits Organiser there for a while. A family day out there was really expensive. Ever since, we measure how we enjoyed a day out, in comparison to a visit to Beaulieu. "Just as much fun, without the price tag".
Don't let the problems with the parents overwhelm this summer, for your daughter. Hope that helps.