[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
hi - Carers UK Forum

hi

Tell us a bit about yourself here.

hi

hi everyone i have been caring for my mum who has dementia for about 4 years practicaly on my own for most of it,all the break i have had is about 4-5 weekends in all that time,when she was diagnosed i knew she hated being put into a home so i made desision to look after her with assurances from my brother and sister in law who are both carers that i wouldnt be on my own but in reality i havnt had help from them sister in law practically nil though she did suggest i could leave mums money to her 3 kids! as for brother he has tried but it would amount to about 4-5hrs every other week and hardly any sleepovers which would have been good as my girlfriend lives 30 miles away plus she has a severe mentally hadicapped son in all the time we have known each other i have stayed at her house 3 times one of those when mum was admitted to hospital,anyway things have come to a head with sister in law refusing to allow brother to stay over even though we had agreed it weeks ago to take girlfried out on her birthday sister in law rang me accusssing me of causing problems in her marridge i just put phone down sinse that have hardly had any help at all so im totally on my own,i do have a company called crossroads who give me tokens of 4hrs a week but by time i have driven down to her i get about 2hrs and have to come back
as regards socail worker he started on my mums case about 10 months ago and it is going so slow,i have got her in to a day centre twice a week (i work fulltime ) so that is a help,i have been told my budget and have decided to manage it myself though im still waiting for him to hand it over,i can never get him to give me a commitment when it will be,once i have it i intend to use pendrills trust and hire a few carers so i can have a bit of my life back ,in the meantime ive decided to pay for carers out of mums money as i pay all her bills,shopping etc im not sure how to find carers so if anyone has any help on this i would be obliged
Hi ~Webby

and welcome to the forum - I too care for my Mum who has Alzheimers; but I do get a few hours a week respite from my sister. I've been doing this, firstly part-time and now full-time for 3 years or so and haven't had a holiday in that time except for two weekends away visiting friends. Luckily my sister was able to stay here and look after Mum for those two times.

As to looking for care assistants (or personal assistants as they are now called !) Now that our local authority has gone over to agency staff they keep a list of agencies and individual assistants that residents of the borough can access if they wish to employ pa's privately - perhaps your local authority is operating a similar system ? It would certainly be worth a phone call or google search.
hi i am carle i am carer for my mum i have been carer for 7 years
Hi Webby,

Welcome to the Forum Image

Sezzie.
Hi Carle,

Welcome to the Forum Image

Sezzie.
Welcome aboard, Webby and Carle!
hi thanks everyone its good to hear from you all it dosnt make me feel so alone
charles many thanks for help, at the moment im using a company called crossroads which i get 4hrs a week i did ask socail worker how much they charge and he tells me £28 a hour! so once i have budget in place im not going to be able to afford them,i have approached a friend who has helped me out but i dont think he is interested
sorry meant suzieq calling you charles good start Image ,guess who hasnt woken up yet Image
sorry meant suzieq calling you charles good start Image ,guess who hasnt woken up yet Image
you can call me what you like Webby, as long as you don't call me late for dinner
Image Image Image

If your local council do operate a similar scheme you should find it a lot cheaper than going to the agencies direct - ours works out about half the price and they have a scheme in place to help you with the paperwork involved (basically you 'employ' the assistants so you have to take care of their N.I. and tax; but in reality the council will do the paperwork for you for a small fee).
im going with a charity called pendills trust when paperwork gets handed over they will sort out taxs etc for me,also will help me advertise for carers they pay £8-30 a hour for carers and just over£42 for a sleep over,i chose them because girlfriend uses them for her disabled son its just the frustration of waiting for socail worker to hand over budget which seems to be going on for ages