hi

[star123]

hi am new hear but ive been reading some of the other post and my problem doesnt seem half as bad as other people on here. i have a finance who has had two accident in the space of a year. He first hurt his back at work which made him have his spine have chip out of and it took us over a year with fighting with mhs get x rays mri scan etc done to find this out. he did seem to be getting better by the time i give birth to our son over 3 year go. then we all went out in the car park it in the local shopping centre car park and some silly person drove straight into the drives door. which made his back kick off again and now he got arthris in his knee. since then it seem to have been getting worse and it take nearly over 3 years to get any help what so every. his knee is getting worse he cant manage get up the stair with out crawling up there, he cant get in and out the bath with out his leg giving way. i have to help him get up out of the chair. and it like no one wants to help or believe what we are saying. it really had on me as i have to look after our son who is 3 now and juggle the housework school run and make sure my finance is ok before i can do anything else. i no there big age gap of 21 years between us but i love him and i hate seen him in pain. just need to talk to someone else who in the same or similar situation as me as starting to feel like am doing all this on my own.

[Myrtle]

Hello Star and welcome

[star123]

hi thanks for replying. how r u

[no1mum]

Hi and a warm welcome from me.

[reddy246174]

Hi, you're not alone. I used to not post here because I thought my case wasn't as bad as others here but it is all relative and it is hard being a carer no matter the circumstances.

Just remember things always change and usually look better after a bit of cake.

[star123]

thanks hun i no it does look better after piece triple chocolate cake. just hard not having any time for yourslf that what get me so down must days. i feel like i sudnt be moaning about it to my finance but it hard not having you time. wel tell a lie a do have 5 mins it now on the school run. but not the same as sitting down watch what u want on tv and just chilling. do you mind me asking what your situation is. you dont have to tell me i do understand that it hard. my finance got to go see another specailist tomorra to see if there can figure out what wrong with his knee. just so many people say different things no one can tell me the truth well i can bacuse ive been right up til now about his knee but no one will listen. people think am mad stay with some one who cant make love to me or who need me to help him get in and out the bath but i love him and i no i havnt married him yet hope by end this year i will have. but it say death do us part. i love him no matter what anyone say.

[reddy246174]

I'm 28 and look after my slightly older wife who started getting ill around seven years ago. It started out with various pains and aches and now she can't support her own weight as well haveing a plethora of wonderful illnesses and problems so needs help transferring, bathing etc. It means I do housework, most shopping and cooking and fair share of child rearing (we have 3 year old and almost three month old) and two pain in the bum dogs.

Don't worry about what other people think about your situation. It is hard but also rewarding in a way. You might lose some intimacy but there is a place of closeness beyond the tension, guilt and feelings of loss that we both felt (and sometimes feel now too). You get to find out a lot about yourself and others (you'll find some people aren't worth worrying about and others can be unexpectedly great).

Ed

[Caring_Mind]

Hello there - welcome to the Forum. I'm sure you'll find many people who you can relate to on the site. Keep looking in - you'll soon get to know who's who here.

[delboy]

Welcome form me , we all have different jobs to do with caring but we are all one as a group , you are not alone