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Hey everyone - Carers UK Forum

Hey everyone

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I stumbled on this site 2 days ago and thought why not lets see what it's all about after all a problem shared can be a problem halved !!
I care for my husband full time we are both in our 30's with 2 beautiful children , it's been hard and not our " master plan" but we are both still here I don't get out to socialise so thought it would be good to chat to a few others
Holly, welcome to the forum. There's a 'mixed bunch' of carers here - many (like me) have an elderly parent, some have children with special needs, some have spouses, such as yourself.

What is the situation with yourself and your husband? What are his care needs, and how do they impact on you and your family?

One thing is for sure - caring is never 'free' - we all have to 'adjust' our lives to it. Sometimes massively.

Kind regards for now, Jenny
Hi Holly

I'm 38 and I also care for my husband, who has osteogenesis imperfecta, or brittle bones. Unlike you we don't have children and are also a little isolated (although hubby is always wonderful company however he's feeling!).

I have a job in London and work at home three days a week and the feeling of isolation is very much increased by the obvious resentment felt by my colleagues about working from home. I can't challenge it without sounding like I'm complaining and that's not how I feel about my life. It's also more difficult to be open as I'm a senior member of staff.

Anyway it's nice to have the forum and I hope I'll find it really interesting and will cheer me up a bit now and then.

Jane x
Jane, from what I've read on this forum from other members, if you are a carer for a disabled person, you become, in employment law 'disabled by association', so the employer has to try and make accommodation for your caring duties. This sounds like what your employer has done by letting you work from home part of the week.

Why not point this out to your colleagues?!!!!

Part time workers (and home workers) always get suspected of 'skiving' (!) - a friend of mine who worked part time around the school day, used to 'disappear' at 3.30, and got a lot of 'Oh, it's all right for YOU!' etc from her full time colleagues. She just used to say to them - If you want my hours, you'll have to have my pay packet too. And walk out.
Hello Holly,

Welcome to the forum, I only recently joined the forum too and have found it a very welcoming place and great place to meet others who have been through similar situations. I'm 36 and have been a long time carer to my aunt and recently my grandmother too, I personally don't very much time to go out and gather with friends so became isolated for a long period of my caring role. It's always nice to meet someone who knows exactly how hard it is and the difficulties you face day in day out. I remember one occasion where i was trying to explain to a friend why i couldn't just drop everything at a moments notice. things would need to be put in place so i would need advance notice. He looked at me like i was speaking another language, I think it was the last time i saw him.
Caring for someone can be rewarding no doubt about that, It can also come with a hidden cost that you don't notice creeping up on you and that is the sacrifices you make daily to make sure your loved one is cared for.