[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
Help please, really at my wits end - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

Help please, really at my wits end

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Justin, they are so vague, but at least it means someone will be coming out.
In the meantime, think about packing an overnight bag.
Hi Justin,

I know you have completed the online referral, is there anyway you can google your local authority or look on their website for an EDT emergency duty team contact? I know we have one for our local authority where they have a senior practitioner who is always on call. Have a chat with them and tell them exactly what is going on. I know it's the weekend but they should have social workers on duty who are able to come out and do an assessment, be it not a full one.

Your situation is completely different to mine but your Dad sounds just like my Mum. I hope you are able to get some help.
Can't help but think that if your father is still in great pain, or gets another pain surge, why not call 999, if he's worsened.

I had instances with my mum's blocked catheter in the night when a doctor would call back, speak to me and then an ambulance would be called. Perhaps worth a try if he continues to be in pain.
To cut a long story short my fathers condition deteriorated and the on call GP came in and suggested that he would need to go into hospital to be given the once over as h was pale and not in a good way and he was worried that he needs proper care to sort his problems out. An ambulance was called and was here within 45 minutes. Crew were great and I gave them a copy of what I submitted today, they really understood the situation and said even if he doesn't seem as bad as he was earlier, he's still going into hospital as it's clearly the right thing to do as the bigger picture.

Got to the hospital and it was suggested it would be better for him to go to emergency assessment unit than casualty as it was quiet and more would get done. Nurse had a chat with my father to get the vitals and asked a lot of questions and gained permission to speak to me alone about the situation and brought me a sandwich, tea and biscuits and had a chat about the situation about, what is being done, what I think should be done and how the caring was going. This nurse really 'got it' and really listened to what I had to say and was very supportive.

Doctor came over after half an hour and said that they're looking at a severe infection now in the hip area rather than bone marrow cancer so it's now likely to go over to the ortho team for them to decide how to proceed with this. Meanwhile they are going to try a different painkiller instead of morphine and since his stomach looks distended, and full of hard stool after an examination, an enema will be required to clear it up. Doctor is of the opinion it's built up over weeks and weeks of morphine use. He's going to be transferred to a ward to sleep overnight so doctor said nothing else will happen so I may as well go home and they'll call me if anything else happens.
Hi Justin, I'm up late as I've been sewing. This is probably a life changing moment for dad.
At last, he's in the right place. Sleep may be difficult, if so try to rest.
Infections can cause dilirium and cause personality changes. I remember mum being taken off morphine due to worsening severe constopation.

So very proud of your persistence during this very difficult situation. I'm glad your father is getting the right treatment.
Justin, hope you managed to get some rest last night. It sounds like dad is going to be in hospital for some time.

Here are a few things to bear in mind, none of which need to be done immediately, but shortly.

Consider emptying the fridge of anything perishable, and make sure any valuables are safe.
When my mum was in hospital for a long time, she asked me to bring everything precious to my place.

If dad was receiving Attendance Allowance and is in hospital for long, you will need to tell DWP (I think after 28 days it will stop, but pension continues).
Also think about telling his insurance company the house is currently empty.
I know you said the house is in a terrible state. As dad is getting his pension and AA but not using it in hospital, it would be fair to ask him to contribute towards paying for it to have a good clean, if he will agree to it?
Just a little update, sorry for taking so long but been having a little breather and relaxing.

He's been at the hospital for a week now and they've diagnosed abscess on his hip and some kind of infections, they're not worried about any haematological cause or cancer anymore now. He was meant to have surgery on Friday to drain the fluid and abscess and to have a look around to see what exactly is going on there.

I was up there after work on Wednesday for an hour or so and myself and my uncle went up there on Friday afternoon, we were going to go on Saturday but because of the weather decided to go up on the Friday. A woman, his friend was up there at the time and was acting very strangely., didn't want my father to speak to us when we were there which created a very strange atmosphere.

Since then my father has turned his phone off so I can't get hold of him and when I spoke to the ward by calling them they said that there is no need to be unduly concerned but my father declined the chance to speak to me when I asked if they could get him to call me and he has a visitor with him and he wouldn't allow the nurse to speak about his condition.

Now maybe I'm jumping the gun a bit, but this woman when I was there was filling his head with rubbish, disagreeing with the doctor and everything we said and I'm a little bit worried about her possibly taking advantage of him.

Any advice?
Who the heck was she then? A member of staff or a "friend"? Can you find out??
Do you have Power of Attorney by any chance?

Dad is definitely a "vulnerable adult" at the moment, and staff should be well aware of this. I would be very concerned if I'd gone to see my mum in hospital and found a stranger there!
I'm concerned that this person didn't see fit to introduce herself. No one with any manners would be at someone's sick bed and not to do so. I take it you have never met this woman before?