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Hi,i`m new,i`m in need of friends and support - Carers UK Forum

Hi,i`m new,i`m in need of friends and support

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I am Lucy age 42 and suffered with panic attacks/agoraphobia for 23 years.My partner is Shaun aged 55 who has always looked after me and done the bill paying/shopping etc,any outside stuff.
He`s recently been diagnosed with lung cancer.and i`m struggling with my panic attacks.I don`t think i can cope.I`ve lost all my mates over the years through my illness as i`ve been housebound lots of times.
My one best mate (been mates for 30 years) who stuck by me passed away in December 2018.
Since then my brother in law has been diagnosed with cancer,as has my mother in law and now my partner.I have no friends or reliable family.I feel so alone and i don`t think i can cope with looking after my partner.I need to make some friends and have a support system around me.
I would love to have a penpal or someone who i can message regularly and exchange the ups and downs of life with

thanks
Lucy x
Hi Lucy,
Welcome
That's a huge dose of awful you've been given. So sorry to hear that so many of your family have been diagnosed at the same time. Have you contacted Mac Millan nurses? Not all cancers are incurable these days so there may be hope that your family members will survive. What's the prognosis? I had a type of cancer 25 years ago and I'm still here after treatment at the time, and research has progressed since then.How is your husband at the moment?
There's a social section on the forum for 'chatting' about nothing in particular as well as the ones for help and advice so do join in the conversations there as well for 'company'.
I expect other members will be along to suggest ways of accessing practical support.
KR
Hello Lucy, welcome to the forum.
Sad to hear of your difficulties. My parents and my late husband's parents had cancer. I do know how treatment has improved greatly now. ( My situation is different to yours)
I'm sorry I can't be much help as in the practical side, but as Elaine has said, there is a Roll Call thread, that lots of us chat about anything and everything! Like a chat over the garden fence. Having been on the forum since March 2016 I feel have found friends, which have saved me from despair.
Others will be along without doubt with a welcome and practical advice.
Hi Lucy,
What a lot you are having to come to terms with at the moment.

Ok, I'll have a go at tackling the practical stuff.

If going out us difficult for you, you need enough folk visiting to give you support and company. The MacMillan nurses visit snd friends who have been supported by them, say they give emotional as well as practical support.

Would a telephone befriender suit you?

If your husband needs support with personal care etc then it's worth having a Needs assessment:
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... assessment

At the same time request a Carers Assessment for yourself: https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... assessment

Sorry to bombard you with links, but it's also worth doing a benefits check https://www.carersuk.org/upfront/
You do t want to be worrying about money too.

The pharmacy should be able to deliver prescriptions and you can always do the food shopping online, patient transport/ volunteer drivers may be able to take your husband to medical appointments.

However, you really need support with the panic attacks/ agoraphobia; so you can get out the house to attend appointments with your husband, take a stroll around the block. Talk to your GP for support/ referral

Melly1