Oh Jenny I have told mum that the doctors say she needs 24 hour care and that there is no way I can look after her 24 hourly but she just does NOT understand!! (I'm now 72 to her 92!!!! ) She calls me a traitor, that she will come back and haunt me and that I will have it on my conscience that I have not looked after her. And that my late father would be horrified at how I am behaving towards her and that her mother would be disgusted with me! She also has started to give me 'the look'!!! My skin is getting thicker by the minute!!!
Yes I do feel vey sorry for her and yes I know that it's the dementia which makes her like this. In her head she has been dumped in this home which she hates and she just wants to go back to her nice bungalow which is quiet, warm and cosy and the bathroom in easy reach from each room. And of course she can look after herself! !??!! My poor mother. You can't reason with a person who has dementia and I do find this very frustrating. She has an answer for everything. And when I have told her bluntly that if she doesn't stop moaning I will go she just tells me I am threatening her!!
Yes it's a good idea to go little and often. Although I have been going very regularly since she was admitted I didn't visit Thursday and Friday last week and I'm not going tomorrow either. Going to get into a routine of two days visiting, two days off and see how that works out. When the weather gets a bit warmer and I feel she's more settled (I live in hope! !) then yes I will take her out in the car. Don't want to do that just yet in case she thinks we're taking her home!!
Thank you Jenny for all your kind suggestions. Joan x
Yes I do feel vey sorry for her and yes I know that it's the dementia which makes her like this. In her head she has been dumped in this home which she hates and she just wants to go back to her nice bungalow which is quiet, warm and cosy and the bathroom in easy reach from each room. And of course she can look after herself! !??!! My poor mother. You can't reason with a person who has dementia and I do find this very frustrating. She has an answer for everything. And when I have told her bluntly that if she doesn't stop moaning I will go she just tells me I am threatening her!!
Yes it's a good idea to go little and often. Although I have been going very regularly since she was admitted I didn't visit Thursday and Friday last week and I'm not going tomorrow either. Going to get into a routine of two days visiting, two days off and see how that works out. When the weather gets a bit warmer and I feel she's more settled (I live in hope! !) then yes I will take her out in the car. Don't want to do that just yet in case she thinks we're taking her home!!
Thank you Jenny for all your kind suggestions. Joan x