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Help!! Mum is 88, I am 68 and she only wants me!! - Page 16 - Carers UK Forum

Help!! Mum is 88, I am 68 and she only wants me!!

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Hello, it's me again. I was just wondering of any of you know about the "12 weeks disregard"?.

The social worker dealing with my mother says she will be entitled to 12 weeks disregard of the care home fees even though, as I reminded him she is self funding, ie has more than twenty four thousand and owns her own property. I even "googled " it and found out the above but the social worker was adamant that she would be entitled to it and not to believe everything on the internet! Now either he's not very good at his job or I'm missing something?? Does anyone out there have experience of this?

Thanks a lot.

Joan x
I think, recalling what I've read on the forum over the years, that this is true. Irrespective of whether a patient will be self-funding or not, they get a certain period of nursing care time 'free'.

If that's right, grab it with both hands!

12 weeks self pay in a care home costs around £10k! (ie, at £100 minimum per day, for three months.....)

However, don't rely on me - wait to hear from someone who knows better!
Hi Jenny, yes I certainly will grab it with both hands!! I'm sure the social worker is wrong, but perhaps the council he works for have a different rule book to the rest of the country !!! I hope so!! Just watch this space and I'll let you know the outcome!! Dare not tell you which council mum comes under in case they have 'spies' lurking on this site!

I've definitely heard of something similar here on the forum, but, as I say, DO check with other members who know better - or even drop the team of experts at Carers UK an email maybe?

That said, providing you are not 'counting' on the 12 free weeks (as in, if they don't happen, you can still self-pay for your mum) you might as well just go ahead anyway with fingers crossed that yes, she will be saving £10k or thereabouts!

If you wanted, you could start a new thread with that specific question??

Cheers, Jenny

PS - does your mum get a choice as to WHERE that 12 weeks can be passed?? Might be restricted if she is not self-pay?? Just a thought!
This Age UK leaflet explains it: see page 8 https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/a ... re_fcs.pdf

Chris from the gulag will know more, I am certain.
Yes, definitely entitled, because for the first twelve weeks, the amount of capital is disregarded. I reclaimed £8,000 from Hampshire after a battle on this very subject. Also, as a self funding patient, mum is still entitled to Attendance Allowance, which should be paid at the highest rate now she is in a home needing things done for her and probably also NHS Funded Nursing Care payments of about £150 a week.
Hello again! The social worker got it wrong. Not entitled to 12 weeks disregard as over the 23k Mark! But somewhere I've read that once capital has got down to below the 23k (at which point house will be put on market) that you can put in a claim then.

Mum still in hospital. Has had nhs check list completed for continuing health care. Scored one A, two B's and the rest of the domains were C's. Resulting in that she cannot have full assessment for CHC nor is she eligible for nhs funded nursing care.
However I am going to ask for a 're check as think that one of the B's should be an A. Also, the manager of the care home I would like her to go in says she needs a nursing bed!!!! Isn't it all so wearing? ? And on top of everything Mum just goes on and on and on about wanting to go home and says that I dont want her, don't care about her, that's she's leaving her house to her brother (he's dead!!) And that "any other girl would take their mother home and look after her"!!! I tell her that I'm not a girl any more and that the doctors are saying she needs 24 hour care but its all lost on her . . It's really getting to me and i do retaliate to her comments but I know I shouldn't because it's the dementia. When I walk away she calls after me that I'm a traitor!!!

Anyway vent over! ! Thank you for listening.

Happy Christmas to you all. Xx
Time for you to start recording mum being nasty to you.
Sadly, she's reached a stage of her life where happiness is impossible for her. But it is not impossible for you. So focus on YOUR happiness, not endlessly beating yourself up over the fact that she CANNOT be happy any longer.

Had she died earlier, she would not be in this state now. It's the price she's paying for 'excess life'.

Remember the old saying 'Take what you want, Says God - Take it and Pay for it'.....well, this is her paying for living these extra years, that bring her no joy.....sad sad sad but there it is.

You KNOW how much you've done for her - and whatever her accusations, they are, as you say, simply part of the monstrous disease of dementia. They are not 'her' 'really'.....

(I wouldn't even bother to retaliate - waste of your effort and probably just winds her up more!)
After spending four weeks in hospital because of suffering hallucinations /dehydration mum has now been transferred to permanent care in a nursing home.

But she is so unhappy demanding to go home all the time. A big part of me wants /wishes that she could go home. She is quite 'with it' even though she does have dementia. The other patients are much worse than mum. Some of them shouting out and a couple wandering aimlessly around, and no it's not an EMI wing that she's on.

The hospital said that she needs 24 hour care and mum cannot understand this at all. She is dressing herself with support. Staff say she is very independent and is resistant to help. She does not stand up or mobilise of her own accord and the staff have to always prompt her/help her to stand and then stay with her while she walks to the toilet. She is definitely incontinent of urine and sometimes of faeces.

If I had siblings to share the care I would probably try and help her to remain at home. But I don't have siblings so that's not an option and there's no way I can look after her 24 hourly even though mum continually asks why can't I.!!!

I know there will be people out there worse off than me but just having a 'rant' on this site makes me feel better. Well...just a bit!!!!

Anyway, thanks for listening. Now trying to get my head round Continuing Care and the ins and outs of selling her bungalow to fund her care. £700 a week!! Mum would go mad if she knew. She thinks it's free!!!!
214 posts