I've just joined and began reading posts from Joan.
My Dad is 92 with severe mobility issues and moved in with us in February. Mentally he's all there. Physically he shouldn't be weight bearing but somehow manages to get from chair to toilet to bed, even to mobility scooter to go in garden. He was maybe 15+ stone when he moved in and eats like a horse so can't guess how much now. He has always been a bully and coercively controlled me and mum. Now he's just a vulnerable elderly person who needs help. I'm an only child who has husband and two teenage children.
My friends have experience of caring, including one who cared for her mother in law with dementia for nearly three decades including 11 years bedridden, so I have people with sage words around me but no one who knows what went before . . My husband knows a little but hasn't pushed to open the wounds.
Basically, when you've been controlled to such an extreme degree it becomes even harder to say no to the demands that are made I've never typed a thing on a forum before and I don't feel comfortable doing this now, but it helped to read what others had said. Please keep this one open. I don't know what my reason for typing all this was. I'm going to see if anyone replies and see what they say, maybe it will all become clear.
I have split this post from an older thread so that Emma has one of her own. The Joan thread she is referring to is here https://www.carersuk.org/forum/support- ... ?start=220
Melly1 Moderator
My Dad is 92 with severe mobility issues and moved in with us in February. Mentally he's all there. Physically he shouldn't be weight bearing but somehow manages to get from chair to toilet to bed, even to mobility scooter to go in garden. He was maybe 15+ stone when he moved in and eats like a horse so can't guess how much now. He has always been a bully and coercively controlled me and mum. Now he's just a vulnerable elderly person who needs help. I'm an only child who has husband and two teenage children.
My friends have experience of caring, including one who cared for her mother in law with dementia for nearly three decades including 11 years bedridden, so I have people with sage words around me but no one who knows what went before . . My husband knows a little but hasn't pushed to open the wounds.
Basically, when you've been controlled to such an extreme degree it becomes even harder to say no to the demands that are made I've never typed a thing on a forum before and I don't feel comfortable doing this now, but it helped to read what others had said. Please keep this one open. I don't know what my reason for typing all this was. I'm going to see if anyone replies and see what they say, maybe it will all become clear.
I have split this post from an older thread so that Emma has one of her own. The Joan thread she is referring to is here https://www.carersuk.org/forum/support- ... ?start=220
Melly1 Moderator