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help - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum


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Hi Christine

I can relate to how you are feeling - my Mum has Alzheimer's and has just started to deteriorate again after being on a, relatively, even keel for some months. This week she's quite determined that I am her sister amongst other things !

Regardless of her not wanting you to tell or involve other people - I do think that you should speak to her GP. It's possible that she may have had another mini stroke or that she has an urine infection which can commonly cause confusion in older people.

You can also request a Carer's Assessment for yourself to highlight help and support that you need to continue caring for your Mum.
Hi Christine,

Adding on to the advice above, you can talk to your own GP about how this is all affecting you and your feelings of being unable to cope. Also with caring for your mam you probably have not had time to grieve properly for your dad. Would be worth talking to your GP about this too . There are counselling services out there that can help . Getting help for yourself may help you cope more.

x x
I am just starting to get very snappy ad angry with her, its not her fauly i know but just feel so guilty about being like that with her
I am finding it very life to want to go on with life, i just cant take seeing my mum the way she is now cant cope and feeling guilty about feeling this way
Hi Chris,

You're not alone with the feeling guilty scenario - we all feel this way at some time or another - I know I do Image But the lovely people on this forum have made me realise that I have nothing to feel guilty about - I'm only human after all. When I do lose it and snap at Mum I know that within an hour or so she will have forgotten all about, so why beat myself up over something that doesn't exist in her mind ?

As Rosemary has said, the most important thing now is to get help for yourself so that you can decide which direction to go next - maybe a care home for your Mum will be the answer either for some respite time or in the longer term. You said that she was very happy in the hospital so possibly she would settle and be happy in a care home where she would have people round her all the time ?


What did your mum's GP say was wrong? Why did he change her meds and offer no other advice? I assume he checked her urine for a UTI? I'm surprised he didn't arrange for your mum to have some other tests done or be referred for specialist attention.

Re: anger - you aren't a saint and it's perfectly understandable that you feel this way. You've lost your dad and are alone with mum and have to look after her. I know how that feels. I lost my dad in Feb this year and I look after mum who thinks dad's in the hospital. Luckily for me, she's relatively OK altho she has diabetes and schizophrenia.

But Chris, if you can bear it, if you feel the GP let you down, can you see another within the practice? Plus, you must speak to someone about your problems and feelings. You can arrange for counselling via the GP or CRUSE but you will have to wait.

Alternatively, do you have a local carers' centre - they may well have a counselling service. Or, you could speak to the Samaritans - they are there to listen, 24 hours a day.
I am seeing a councellor but that doesnt seem to help. My mum has had an appointment to go for a C.A.T scan on the 28th June and the i suppose it will be back to the hospital for the results of that.
Sometimes she doesn't seemtoo bad and then other times se just sees all sorts of people as well as my dad, and if i am not there she is constantly on the phone.
Twice this weekend she has even made a cup of tea for my dad. Feel so sorry for her, just wish i could make it all better
Had to take my mum to the nurse today, seems like she has the start of an ulcer on her leg after her fall, Nusre said i had to take her there twice a week for the next 2 weeks to check on it. I tried to make appointment but they only had them for the morning, when i explained i was at work then and asked if someone could come to the house they just say thats all we have or take her to a different surgery
My mu is staring to see more things and people now, animals she is also talking to the people she sees, have tried to explain it is only her seeing them and its probably due to the stroke but she looks at me like i'm daft for not seeing them
right now i am feeling that i don't want to go on with life anymore. i just cant cope with anything, no one can help Image