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Hello people - Carers UK Forum

Hello people

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Good morning everyone

How are you all? I am very glad to have found you!

A little about my situation this is extremely new to me and I feel like I am drowning. My mum who is now 83 suffered a head injury just before christmas which led to a lengthy stay in hospital and a rehab stint. I realised quickly that I was going to have to come home to look after her this entailed giving up my flat rearrangingnworking hours thought it would be for a couple of weeks to be truthful

As they say reality sucks! Well she has been home for 3 weeks now and has back slid incredibly not medically just in her refusal to do a damn thing for herself she has carers 3 times daily whilst I am at work they call it a re enablement package but the truth is they just do everything for her.

They last couple of days have pushed me to the edge she now wants me to cut her food up there's nothing wrong with her hands and last evening I came home to find her in the dark as she couldn't be bothered to get out of the chair to put the light on sounds petty but the list would drag on for pages

I don't want this to sound like a bitch feat but I am angry with her all the time and this pathetic persona she has adopted is driving me insane I have had to walk out on more then one occasion for fear of really letting rip if anyone has tips advice for getting over this anger and resentment which I really don't understand and hate about myself then please advise

I am all ears

Many thanks
Hiya and a warm welcome to the forum.
It is possible that the way your Mum is behaving is a result of the head injury, not easy as a carer to cope with the changes in the people we love. For me a godsend was taking a deep breath and going into a different room for a few minutes to compose myself. It might be a good idea to have a good chat with Mum's GP about how she has changed.
Hi Kate and welcome to the forum
This happened to me with my MIL. She wanted someone else to do everything for her - yes, even cutting up her food and feeding her too - and became extremely manipulating, constantly phoning us and telling everyone that we would do everything for her. Its very difficult especially when, like your Mum, this is completely different from their usual personality.
Like no1, I think it may be as a result of the head injury and I agree - go and chat to her GP. They wont be able to tell you anything (because of patient confidentiality), but will be able to take it on board and may be able to organise things for her.
just a thought, is it possible that your mum could be depressed. your comment about her sitting in the dark and not getting up to put the light on made me think this. x
Hi Kate, it's very hard to take on board when our loved-ones change before our very eyes, it leaves us feeling bewildered and insecure. I agree with the others, could be the injury and /or depression. A chat to the GP could help.
Good luck
phoebe x
Hi Kate and welcome.