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Newbie.....out of her depth ! - Carers UK Forum

Newbie.....out of her depth !

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi everyone,
My name is Lisa & I am 43 yrs old, my husband had a massive stroke in oct last yr aged 55. He was in hospital for 4 months and was discharged end of Jan.
Being an ex staff nurse I thought I would be ok - not daft, knew what I was doing.......omg how wrong was I Image Im finding it really hard to cope, I am a full time carer now as he has been left with some cognitive damage, left sided weakness, depression, short term memory loss & confusion.
I dont mean to sound selfish but I've gone from a wife to a carer and its really hard. I have to run a house, 2 teenage kids (that arent much help) look after hubby full time and 4 cats & a dog !!!! I spend most of my day crying & I hate that
My husband needs help with all aspects of daily living. He has the most horrendous mood swings as he gets so frustrated with himself and just says he wants his old life back (so do I) He wont go anywhere as he cant drive, when I suggest driving anywhere he says no (unless its to the local pub)
Im sure there are a lot of you out there that have got it 100 x worse & Im sorry if I sound like a whinging so & so
I promise not every post will be as dismal, I think I just would like to know Im not the only one,
Thanks for reading
Lisa x
Hi and a warm welome to the fourm.
Lisa, you are definitely not on your own in how you're feeling, it's hard being full time carer and having a family as well, I did it for a great number of years in looking after my Nan, my youngest was still in nappies when she first had a stroke, I also had 2 teenage children and stepchildren to contend with and I ended up much like you are feeling at present.

Take care,

Hi Lisa, welcome to the forum and thanks for your post.

Let me assure you that you are not alone in feeling how you feel right now. I'm quite sure that everyone who reads your post will be reading and thinking check, check, wants life back - check, lonely - check.

And yes there may be others who have it worse than you and some better. Either way it doesn't make your lot easier or harder to bear so don't try to trivialise it. And don't worry about felling guilty about hating your caring role. It's normal too.

I hope this forum can provide you with the help support and relief you need.

Keep posting.
Hi Lisa I hate strokes! My Mum had one 5 years ago and I went fromn having independance to being her carer and spending most of my time with her, I also have a 17 year old daughter with Downs Syndrome.

Its early days yet with your husband so lets hop things get a bit better for you.

We all hang out on the Carer to Carer board where we have a daily roll call, chat about things and get support, hope you will join in x