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Hello..I've made it at last !! - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Hello..I've made it at last !!

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Krikey..did i really write all that?!! Oh dear..
Hello and thank you to all who have been kind enough to welcome me to this much needed site ! Don't laugh ..it's taken me since last night to work out where this (members corner) actually is, following my confusion over 'roll call' (thank you india77 for guiding me onto the next stage.!!) Well I got here ....eventually!!
I still don't understand how it all works but its just time I guess..patience is needed (complete technophobe).
Bowlingbun - haha I'm definitely no superwoman..you can probably tell by now!!
I'm not Superwoman either!!! The point is that some "professionals" make you feel that you are a failure if you ask for additional help, which isn't true. The more you try and do, the more they expect you to do. One social worker wrote on my file (which I've now got a copy of) that there was a problem with my son's care, but he wasn't going to do anything because his mother (me) was quite capable of sorting it out on her own. This was when my husband had just died, I was caring for mum, and had just had a car accident which had left me virtually unable to walk. Social workers are there to provide a service, after all, if we didn't need services they'd be out of a job.
Well I will be well prepared. You've certainly had a rough time too. They say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" but it doesn't help to get unqualified comments like that. You must have been seething.
I am being pro active today in calling Care Connect to request assessments for both myself and Mum And to find day centres with spaces!. I know all of this will take at least a couple of months but its a start and I've been putting it off/ pretending I don't need it for months. So there we are. Can't help laughing- I keep dipping in and out of Loose Women as I'm writing this and Denise Welsh has apparently stopped saying yes to everyone since giving up drinking !! Hmmm
Joannarose, its not a problem. I will help you when ever i can. x
India77 thank you once again! The truth is that I think I've been in denial of needing any advice / help for too long. And now ive started I can't seem to get the lid back on! x
Keep it off!...we are all here to help and support each other Image india.x
Hi Joannarose,

I just wanted to say hello and welcome you to the Forum.

Also caring for an elderly mum who "glazes over" at TV but has moments of sharpness. Yes, essential to get a break from time to time; otherwise it will send you mad(der) Image .

Have a wander round the Forum and join in; we don't bite.

Anne x
Hello and welcome

I too am in the same situation, I have looked after my Mum for nearly 9 year's now. Mum is bedbound and unable to do anything for herself and I sit in her bedroom with her day in day out without a break, so I understand a lot of how you feel.

This forum is great, there is always someone around to help and support you.

Hi there and thank you to all of you who have offered support and helpful suggestions.
A place has at last become available at crossroads day care for mum. So last Tuesday we were invited to look around and have a coffee to see what mum thought of it. (Not a lot!!!) what a nightmare. I had to virtually drag her in. "I'm not at this stage YET" she complained.
When the lady explained that I needed the break as well as her she looked at me and replied " you get out to see your friends, I don't think this is right for me!" Thanks Mum!!!
I may have 2/3 hrs every other week to visit or meet a friend!..to mum that should be enough!.
They have suggested that she goes for the day tomorrow and that she'll be fine once gone...I'm not so sure. I haven't mentioned it to her as I know she'll get into a real state about it and I see no point in making her worry unecessarily. BUT I'M REALLY TERRIFIED OF HER REACTION TOMORROW. The thought of her face and the awful black look she gives me makes me feel so mean.
I'm returning to the centre early to have my Carers assessment...any advice?
I know some people here stayed with mum at the day centre the first time or two, so mum didn't feel abandoned - it must be a bit like the first day of school in many ways, but remember that the staff will be familiar with new clients being very nervous, and will have ways of making mum feel at ease. But rather like school, it may take a few weeks to settle in!