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Hello from sunny bedfordshire - Carers UK Forum

Hello from sunny bedfordshire

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hello

My name is Jay i am 36 .. live in sunny bedfordshire..

I look after my diasabled mum who is now 74 and have done since 2003 .. When i first started it wasn't too bad but in 2007 my mum had a big fall and broke 9 bones in her foot and the hospital let her rot on the ward and she was bed bound for 6 months due to cock ups..

So in april 2008 after much trouble, They started to get my mum moving again .. but hasn't been right since very wobbly and unsteady .. she suffers from osteoporosis, severe copd, depression,rheumatoid arthritis

Also i have notice a big change since then my mum can get very very selfish and stubborn and very demanding .. calling every 5 mins for a cup of tea ect ect .. She does get a care agency in every day 1 hour in the morning a single carer and then 2 carers for lunch 1 a 30 min and another for 15 mins same applys in the evening mon -sun but sat & sun mornings are only 30 mins

But in the last 2 years my mum has really changed as i said above .. I rarely go out maybe 2/3 times a month when i do i get a moaned at and the ususal question how long are you going to be .. and then its the guilt trip like leave me to die ect ect .. Image

Its a great relief to me when my sister and nephew come up and stay as they live in wales and its a 4 hour drive here and my nephew has lots of medical problems but they do try and pop up every couple of months or so and we do take my mum out for trips when they are here.

In april 2008 I injured my shoulder really badly chipped colarbone dislocated it and torn muscles and don't remember how i did it .. It took me a year to recover from that .. and in feb of this year i was told that i had a under active thyroid and my cholesterol was very high as i haven't been my self over the last year, on meds now i am starting to feel a little better in myself now, but my arthritis is starting to flare up i have it since i was 15. so i have my good days and bad..

I have tried to ask my mum if she would try respite care or day centres just to give me a little break but she won't have any of it..She thinks that i am trying to get rid of her.
Hi Jay and welcome to the forum. There's plenty of support and advice to be found on here.

Karen
Hello and welcome Image
Hello and welcome to the forum Image
Hi Jay and welcome to the forum.
I have tried to ask my mum if she would try respite care or day centres just to give me a little break but she won't have any of it..She thinks that i am trying to get rid of her.

I had that with my Mum who has Alzheimer's - I think it was mostly fear of the unknown. I did get her to a Day Centre but only by going with her for the first few visits. After 6 weeks she said she didn't want to go anymore, but I think that was more because she couldn't have a cigarette when she wanted one than for any other reason ! Still haven't managed to get her to consider respite care - but I haven't given up hope yet Image
Hi Jay welcome Image
Hi Jay and welcome, lots of lovely people here who understand how you feel
Hi Jay

Welcome i hope you get the information on here that you need.

We will always give advice if you ask for some so go ahead and keep posting.

I am from Sunny Bedfordshire also.

John
Hello Jay - welcome to this friendly site - hope you enjoy visiting us Image My mother also won't entertain respite, so we struggle on!
My dear its good you have joined as not only will you gain freinds but you will recieve some good advice etc
So dear a big warm welcome
Image
coffeex