I have just come across this forum and hope you will not mind me joining even though I live in Spain. Last year my father died. Dad had been my mum´s carer for many years and they were together every minute of the day. Mum has unfortunately had very poor health for many years and is now more or less unable to leave her bed other than to go to the bathroom. She has end stage COPD, osteoperosis, ulcerative colitis and other conditions which mean that she is taking around 55 pills a day plus oramorph every 3 hours. She has been on oramorph for several years and to be honest it doesn´t really have that much of an impact as I guess her body is used to it now. Mum is also now depressed which I can completely understand.
When Dad died Mum went to live with my sister and I came over to England once a month for a week or so to look after her in her own home as she was then able to travel in the car. Sadly, the relationship between my sister and my mum broke down and I therefore arranged for mum to have home care and more recently care through the night.
I go over for at least a week each month and phone Mum constantly through the day. It is very hard as each time I go back she seems to have deteriorated a little more. I know she wants to die to be with my Dad but says she is also scared. It has been her fighting spirit over the years that has kept her going but she seems to be losing that now. We had a bad time recently when mum was getting really confused and this was how it resulted in me arranging for someone to be there throughout the night.
My husband is extremely understanding and even stayed here over Christmas so that I could be with Mum for a few days so that she wouldn´t be on her own over the christmas period. Life is very difficult and I do feel torn between being with my husband and my mum. Thank you for listening to me rant on
When Dad died Mum went to live with my sister and I came over to England once a month for a week or so to look after her in her own home as she was then able to travel in the car. Sadly, the relationship between my sister and my mum broke down and I therefore arranged for mum to have home care and more recently care through the night.
I go over for at least a week each month and phone Mum constantly through the day. It is very hard as each time I go back she seems to have deteriorated a little more. I know she wants to die to be with my Dad but says she is also scared. It has been her fighting spirit over the years that has kept her going but she seems to be losing that now. We had a bad time recently when mum was getting really confused and this was how it resulted in me arranging for someone to be there throughout the night.
My husband is extremely understanding and even stayed here over Christmas so that I could be with Mum for a few days so that she wouldn´t be on her own over the christmas period. Life is very difficult and I do feel torn between being with my husband and my mum. Thank you for listening to me rant on