Hello from a Newbie

[o0Pleomax0o]

Hello there,
I hope this is going to be a wealth of information and guidance.

I think I may be not the norm when it comes to most carers. I care for my wife who has Bipolar II Affective Disorder.

One of those hidden disabilities, some days I just want to walk off into the sunset.

There are days where I can see I have made a real difference.

I’m looking forward to hopefully joining in with others.

[bowlingbun]

Welcome to the forum.

I've cared for elderly parents and a son with learning difficulties, so can't offer any advice, but there are a number of members on the forum in a fairly similar situation, who will be along presently.

[Nikki_19011]

Hello fellow Newbie
I care for my wife who has COPD and my daughter who has Bipolar type 2

Looking forward to interacting

[Pet66]

o0Pleomax0o hello and welcome
My circumstances are different to yours as my husband is in a nursing home because of strokes and vascular dementia.
Others will be along to support you. Hopefully you will find the forum a good place to vent etc ( no one judges)
Roll call is a nice place to just chat in general if that's what you feel like.

[Honey Badger]

Welcome,

There are days where I can see I have made a real difference.

Every day you are by her side, just being there, you are making a real difference, always remember that... your wife knows this in her heart too, its just some days it can be harder to express it than others.

If by chance you need any information on any financial or practical support you/your wife may be entitled (for example care packages or benefit eligibility) to don't hesitate to ask. Its not just about taking care of your loved one but also yourself.

You hit the nail with the invisible illness comment, by nature humans are often visual learners and its reflected in the poor way we deal with properly acknowledging and treating mental health (amongst many, other things) of course that doesn't excuse it, some people are just downright rotten, and won't give an issue the time of day until it affects them.

See you around on the board.

Best wishes to you both

[Denise _1812]

Hello
My husband has a brain injury so I know all about hidden disability and walking off into the sunset.
Know about the good days too so you are not alone. We do what we can.

[jenny lucas]

hi, just to say (quickly and 'in passing' so apols for that), to be sure you are actually SUPPORTING your wife (ie, helping her be the BEST she can be) and not merely 'enabling' her (which 'panders' to her distorted, ie, mentally ill, self)....the difference is crucial.

It's fiendishly hard distinguishing, I appreciate, but to my mind, the best (of a poor bunch) is to try and assess the EFFORT she puts in. Whilst one would not more expect someone with a broken leg to run a marathon, we would expect them to grab their crutches and hobble around and do the most they can do...even if it is painful and takes effort and tires them out.

I would use the same analogy for mental illness. Mental illness can be incredibly 'selfish' and 'self-focus' is a known danger - they become incapable of feeling sorry for anyone else, as it all 'me me me me' and THEIR suffering -

Beware, too, another endemic danger of mental illness - the 'secondary gain' they can get. This is the 'get out of all responsibility free' card....'I can't do anything, I'm ILLLLLLLLL! I have to be looked after by EVERYONE and is is NOT my problem because I'm ill!!!!!!'

Beware of all the above!

(I was raised by a mentally ill mum, and my niece has substantial and chronic MI)....