Hello everyone

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi All

Having joined up just recently here's my little introductory tale.

I have been looking after my wife for the last 30 or so years. She is blind also suffers from arthritis, hips and knees, which makes mobility something of a problem. I balanced (as best I could) work and caring for quite a few years but took early retirement which, on the whole, has turned out ok.

My biggest bugbear is depression, which I know is something carers in particular suffer from. In my case it's compounded by the fact that we lost our 13 year old son in very, very difficult circumstances some years back. It's left a scar that'll never go away so any undue stress tends to open the wound again. Having said that, I do look on the bright side of life as much as possible. Despite all the trials and tribulations of getting older and coping with disability, I see every new day I can spend with the missus as a blessing.
Hi Christopher

Just wanted say hi and welcome. Sounds like you doing great job.

Can relate to feeling low re early retirement. Forced my way out under VS with my employer as it was obvious my old life was over. I don't miss work per se; it's having a purpose beyond caring for my mum. It is important, i'd say vital, to try maintain outside interests, friendships, etc but know not easy.

Please, now you found us, continue to post. I've found it helps.

Hello Christopher and welcome
You are so right that caring can be tough and isolating, and even more so on top of previous grief.
Counselling can really help, for either or both of you, no matter how long ago things happened
I had some following a bereavement and again year's later. It really did help me.
Here's a site that lists them all, and some gp practices may offer some initial sessions under their well-being programme
https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&sourc ... yjejbF3WzA

Many thanks GFR and MrsA for your kind words and advice.

At present I'm a volunteer at my local bereavement cafe for 2 hours a week which gives me something regular to do. Although being part of quite a large voluntary group I do get leaned on a bit too often to take on more things as they are "so short of volunteers", and that makes it slightly uncomfortable to keep saying no.

I do so agree with you, MrsA, about how much counselling helps. Unfortunately, GP services here don't run to counselling now, although they did in the past. Luckily there is a good counsellor attached to the bereavement cafe who I can chat to if I need to. I'm hoping I'll find friends on here too, with whom I can exchange a few words of comfort when needed. :)

Hi Christopher,
Welcome to the forum. I hope you find it a friendly and supportive place.

I agree, caring can be lonely and it's easy to feel depressed.

Your voluntary work sounds worthwhile, don't feel guilty saying, "no," you are a carer too remember and not all the other volunteers will be.