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Hello everyone - Page 5 - Carers UK Forum

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Sorry to read about your problems with the meals Henrietta. Sounds like both your dad and CHC are taking you for granted.

I don't know if the carer will be cooking meals. In fact, I don't know what their duties will be yet. All that was mentioned was help when Mum wakes in morning (an hour's visit), then two 30 minute visits during the day and an hour at bedtime. Plus overnight care. I don't know whether that's a sleeping carer or an awake carer. I should think a sleeping one, as it's more expensive for an awake one. Though she did say, Sister said Mum needs overnight supervision, so how could a sleeping carer do that?

There's a big difference between 3 hours care a day, (plus overnight care) and a 24 hr live in carer they were suggesting. This is going to sound greedy but do you think 3 hours during the day will be enough if they go for that option? It does sound greedy, considering most people don't even get the funding and I certainly wasn't expecting them to agree to overnight care but a live-in carer would be 24 hour care. So, they are 2 very different options.

She said with the live-in carer, we would probably have to juggle overnight care between the 2 of us though. That was the hardest bit for me, the overnight care.

Gosh, you did have a lot to cope with Henrietta. Not surprised your glands kept coming up.

I don't think my mum will accuse me of "can't be bothered" but we did both get irritable and rude to eachother at times.

My mum actually suggested frozen meals herself but I do worry about her getting enough nutrients. She's very underweight with little appetite. I do struggle with the cooking though, due to my own illness. Have even been struggling to cook just for myself lately. They have prescribed supplements for Mum.

When are they planning to discharge your dad? Does he live with you?

Omg 3.05 am. Must try to get some sleep!

Nite and all the best to you both x
Hi Blue Mermaid, have you actually met this CHC person at your home? Insist she comes to do her own home visit and assesses your ability to care. Under no circumstances should you have to give up your bedroom and bed and sleep on an air bed to accommodate a carer! It sounds to me like a live in carer is mot a practical option at the moment. Have you considered starting with the 4 carer visits a day, and a carer overnight? She won't need a bed, just use your settee in the lounge. How is she going to supervise mum asleep upstairs?
Hi Blue Mermaid
Hope you got off to sleep. I woke at 5.00 as dog was mooching, so I'm up and about earlier than usual. Dad is due out next Monday and yes he lives with me. Last time he came out of hospital he was told he couldn't return home without night supervision-me!
Since then I have manged to get away on holiday and leave him to it with only time attendance. I am hoping I will still be able to do this.
I don't mind cooking generally speaking but prior to admission I was trying to work part time 7 days a week mostly, plus get Dad's meals 4 times a day, plus medication ranging from 4- 6 times a day, walk the dog, look after 250+ foot garden- oh yes and then there was me to fit in somewhere. -and housework- what's that? Fortunately I'm no so worried by that as you are!
Dad didn't have any continence issues before he went into hospital but now he has been wearing pads. I know he can get to the bathroom so I am not sure what we will be faced with next week.
In my part time work as a carer I've had to double up with live in carers and they did help with all meals. The client I was helping had final stages of dementia and the live in carer shared the 24 hrs with daughter who was s taying there, and the company I work for helped with hoisting at regular short visits throughout the day.
The 3 visits that have been arranged through CHC are for just 30 minutes. In my experience, it takes a carer 30 minutes to park the car, make a cup of tea, find their way around the kitchen and write their notes up & put the keys away so I'm not to sure what they think they will achieve during this time. I certainly don't see them being able to get Dad out of bed, if he hasn't got up , washed and dressed, breakfasted , cup of tea and medication. It just won't be happening.
Blue Mermaid wrote:Hi Hilly

So sorry to read your dad was refused CHC. You probably already know but you can try again in the future. Unfortunately, it does seem to partly depend on who does the initial checklist and then the full assessment, how well they understand the health issues and whether they are prepared to listen to you. As I said, I was in a meeting with them for 3 1/2 hours and I was listened to in every section of the form.

You might get a completely different result with someone else doing the initial checklist and then different people in the full assessment too.

I can imagine how you must feel since you had to move your dad (I will have a look at the link). I'm dreading that happening to us. I hope he will settle in ok and that your worries will then lesten. It's heartbreaking.
Blue Mermaid,

yes, I'll be trying again in while. I just hope that it'll come right this way round. My dad is settling in just fine. I just hope that he never feels like we abandoned him. My only relief is that the facility is well equipped and takes care of him well.
Hi Bowlingbun

Unfortunately, it isn't up to us to decide between the 2 options. They are deciding which is the most cost effective for them. They have a certain amount of money allocated each week. Yesterday, she said the visits 4 times a day with 2 carers, plus overnight care was working out too expensive and that a live-in carer would be cheaper. She said she was going to get more quotes but I haven't heard anything yet. The OT from hospital phoned and asked if I'd heard anything. She said the last thing she heard yesterday was they were going to provide a live-in carer.

The CHC worker hasn't arranged for me to be assessed at our home. I only heard from her for the first time yesterday. As usual, information was particularly lacking. My brother had a million questions when I spoke to him about it and I have too now. I was just taking in the news when she phoned yesterday and didn't even think what I should be asking. The point is, they should be volunteering all the information and we shouldn't need to ask.

I don't want to be assessed as unable to care due to my illness. I don't want Mum to go into a nursing home. She did ask if we'd consider that option yesterday and I said no.

She said the overnight carer would need a bedroom, whether she was a live-in carer or not. Like you, I don't understand how that is supervised overnight care but as I said, it's a lot more expensive to have a carer awake all night, so they probably wouldn't provide that.

I've been sleeping on the inflatable bed for a few months now, so Mum could sleep in my bed. I really can't tell the difference between that and a normal bed. It's a very good one and same height as normal bed. I bought it as a temporary bed when I rented a flat for a little while. So, I don't mind carrying on sleeping on it for now, as long as it doesn't get a puncture!

I can't imagine what it will be like with a live-in carer. It's going to feel really awkward at first. Surely, there will be more than one as well, otherwise when do they have any time off? Not that I had any time off before! Some days I couldn't even leave Mum to have a bath/shower. Every time she was rushed to A&E, I had to go with really greasy hair. So embarrassing! I know, not the time to be worrying about my appearance.
Hi Blue Mermaid
The live in carers I came across worked in blocks of so many weeks. One of them came down to the South Coast all the way from Manchester and then went home again. They will need a break every now and again- they are only human so it won't be 24/7 care. The ones I met popped out to the shops etc and slept some afternoons. I would think they will need somewhere to hang clothes and use of kitchen for their own meals and washing machine etc for own use sometimes. Basicaly a bit like having a lodger, home from home.
Hi Henrietta

I got to sleep in the end, probably just as you were waking up! Slept for about 4 hours. Not enough. Sorry you woke so early.

So, it looks like we'll be facing our parent's discharge around the same time. They're not providing you with much help at all. I too can't imagine what they expect to achieve in 30 minutes.

We have the same situation as you with the pads. Mum was just wearing them at night before she went into hospital but she's worn them all all the time since she's been in there, because her mobility is so poor and has deteriorated further, due to developing the dystonia. I am worried about the toileting issue.

I know what you mean about the housework. I couldn't do any when caring for Mum on my own. I didn't vacuum or dust for months and months on end. The house was in a right state. Obviously, I had to clean up accidents but apart from that, there was no time or energy for housework. I had to change Mum's linen a lot but no energy left to wash and change mine. It was disgusting how long I left my sheets on for! Sorry, too much information! I hope I'm not going to be expected to clean up after the carer.

I really hope you are still able to go on holiday Henrietta. Will be great for you to have a break from caring.
I don't want another lodger! Just got rid of the last one (brother!). I'll have to put up with it though.
Hi Hilly

So glad to read your dad is settling in well. It must have been a very traumatic time for you.

I really hope you do get funding next time around. Good luck Hilly.
I still need to know size of mattress on hospital bed. What size is your dad's one Henrietta if you don't mind me asking? I find it hard to believe it's a standard single size if the bed is 7ft long. I need to know, so I can buy the right size linen for it. OT said other people have used standard single size bed linen.
80 posts