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Hello everyone - Carers UK Forum

Hello everyone

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I have only just joined Carers UK although I have been a 24/7 Carer since 2001 for my husband who has Huntington's Disease.

I have M.E. (since 1986), have had 2 strokes, depression and other health related issues.

We used to live in the Midlands (in a nice 2 bed detached bunglaow) but moved to Kent to be closer to our daughter and grand-daughter. We were housing association tenants (forced to rent this way after both of us having to give up work).

In February 2008 we moved to Kent into a 3-bed semi house which could have been adapted to meet my husbands needs and to accomodate a live-in carer for when my condition goes into relapse.

Some adaptations had been done by the end of 2008 and a DFG application was under way.

From March 2008 we started to suffer ASB from the adjoining neighbours - tried to resolve it amicably but things just got worse. Incidents reported to housing association and recently discovered they made no record of our complaints.

In November 2008 I suffered racial abuse/hatred from the partner of the adjoining tenant. Was reported to police and housing association. Perpetrator simply got a warning from housing association and caution from police.

ASB intensified, we had their Staffordshire Bull Terriers using our rear garden as a toilet, the dogs tried to attack our dog and one of them even burst through the larchlap fencing to attack our dog. Again all incidents reported to housing association, local authority, Environmental Health, social worker, etc nobody did anything to help or to protect us.

In March 2009 we were forced to flee our home after we had been confronted with a mob of approx 18 people related to the adjoining neighbours - police were called but we subsequently discovered they had not even made a report because they said no "incident was reported", an axe was also put through the bonnet of my 2-week old Motability car.

We were homeless for about 10 weeks, moving from place to place just to have a roof over our heads. My husbands condition quickly deteriorated, he lost one stone in two weeks. Still no-one did anything to help - housing association said they couldn't do anything without police pressing charges, local authority said they couldn't do anything, all social services kept telling me was "we don't have houses" as if I was stupid enough to think they did. They should have advocated on our behalf -my husband was and still is a 'vulnerable' adult.

Eventually the housing association found us a small 2 bed house which was supposed to be temporary until they found us somewhere more suitable - this present house cannot be adapted for my husbands needs and the housing association know that.

The O/T has written 3 reports stating the property can't be adapted and supporting our need for a more suitable property.

My husband has fallen down the stairs many, many times because he does not have good balance or strength in his legs.

I am constantly battling to try and maintain his physical and mental health and well-being whilst at the same time battling all of the relevant authorities.

I feel it's a case of "they have a roof over their head so what are they complaining about".

They have ignored the psychological ddamage, the physical and mental health damage done to us and the fact they have allowed us to lose our home because of anti-social neighbours who were also housing association tenants.

Has anyone else suffered like this and does anyone have any advice for me please?

I need to get my husband settled and stabilised because I have promised him that he will always be cared for at home but I am struggling with the health of both of us at the moment and there is no-one out there willing to help us.

Thank you
Hi Titch, you have certainly been through the mill lately, Advice, keep a journal and copies of all your dealings with the Police, housing association and social services. Speak to the C.A.B about a community solicitor, your MP, go to his surgerys and annoy the hell out of him till he helps, wish there was more i could offer, but i can offer and send you lots of hugs, to you both. Keep us informed about how you get on, there will be others along soon with more welcomes and advice.
Titch reading your post was like watching one of those programmes on anti social behaviour that goes on, its terrible and I am sorry you have been through so much! We have some neighbours down here that could turn out like yours I think, they are 3 doors down and people come and go all day and night to the house with alcohol etc and her 2 sons have never worked a day in their lives 21 and 17 and have no intention of.

I hope things get better for you x
Tich I am crying as I read your post, I know I cant do anythingfor you but my heart goes out to both of you.

Hi Titch

I dont know if this will apply in your area because I am in Scotland but if you can check it out it may work. If these neighbours were renting from a private landlord which is the usual situation here for ASBs you can check on your local council's website if they keep a list of private landlords and if the landlords have to be registered. They do here and if they are not registered and are letting to ASBs they can be fined for not being registered and then fined again for their tenants causing disturbances in the area. It may give you further evidence that you absolutely had to get away from there double quick style and may re-inforce your case to be rehoused properly. Just a suggestion which I hope will be of use to you.

Little Lamb
Hi and welcome. Image
Hi and welcome.
I feel like Linda does too.
It's a long shot, but it might work - ask to be rehoused for this reason:

Your husband is a fire risk. In the event of a fire, he'd probably be unable to leave the building in a hurry. Also, if he fell on the stairs, he'd either stop you getting out safely or (if you went down first), he could fall on/against you, making you too badly injured to get yourself out (let alone get him out as well).

I agree with the others on this thread. I know it seems like you're getting nowhere, but keep making a fuss to anyone who'll listen and one day you'll get somewhere.
hi and welcome im at a loss for words,not like me at all,im so shocked,that is disgusting behavior from your neighbours,why are people so cruel and selfish,much as the rehousing is not suitable im so glad you are away from these people,who knows what could have happened next,very upsetting especially as its reminding me of what happened to my brother in law,my hubbies brother was involved in anti social behaviour,he also had a heart transplant,way back in 2008 a fight broke out and spilled into his garden,he went out to stop the fighting and collapsed,it was terrible because he died through it,it was all in the papers as it was treated as murder at first,his 2nd chance at life cruelly taken away from him,left behind a wife and 2 very young children,cant write no more too upsetting,i hope you can be rehoused as soon as possible,its simply not good enough x
Hi everyone, sorry I haven't replied to all of your messages before now but I just don't get time to go online very often these days.

All of your kind words brought tears to my eyes - just having other people who understand how we feel and have been feeling for these last few years. People in 'power' and authority just dismiss it all as a neighbours quarrel - but it was so much more than that. They have just left us here and forgotten about us. My health has deteriorated a lot these last few months (another reason why i haven't been online).

Social worker finally came and reassessed my husband (we haven't seen him for approx 15 months - husband could have been dead by now for all he knew!!!!) He has decided that my husbands condition has deteriorated and suggested that I make an application in my own right - yet I was a user of social services in the Midlands - Kent social services just have never ever bothered to get my files from the Midlands social services! Kent SW suggested that I apply for direct payments to have my own PA only problem is that if we are assessed as having to pay a contribution towards DP (as we have to do with my husbands DP package, despite only receiving benefits and having no savings at all) we could not afford for me to have a PA!

My resolve to continue the fight with the housing association was strengthened this week. I received a letter from DWP Debt Management alledging that I owed £391 dating back to 1996 for Disability Working Allowance. Asked for proof and asked if I could dispute it and was told that I have "...no rights..." at all! They made me jump through hoop after hoop after hoop after hoop. Just by chance I came across a link to e-mail the DWP Ministers so I did - never expecting a reply. Three days later I got a call from DWP Debt Management in relation to the e-mail I had sent the Ministers and was advised that their 'policy people' would be handling the situation from now on. Still don't know if I really owe this money or if they are going to reclaim it - they wanted to reclaim it at £31.00 per week which would have placed us in severe financial hardship.

Our anti-social neighbours were also tenants of the same housing association as we are - the neighbours received a caution in November 1998 for racial hatred but the HA said that they couldn't hold that against them! The episode with DWP made me so angry that I thought I am so fed up with people treating us in this way - as if we are not important, that we don't matter, that we are useless, etc.etc.etc that I decided to start the whole housing thing again. This time I am writing to all of the agencies involved asking them why not one of them flagged up the fact that my husband was a Vulnerable Adult in acordance with the Adult Protection Policy and Protocols that they have all signed up to and where they all attend the very same meetings to address and tackle anti-social behaviour and harassment.

My husband doesn't have very many years left before his disease takes full control of his body and I owe it to him and to us to continue the fight. Please wish me luck because it's going to be a long hard battle and I'm having to do it on my own. Tried the MP all he did was to copy my letters to the other parties and theirs to me.