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I'm so glad I found you. - Carers UK Forum

I'm so glad I found you.

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Image Hello everyone,
After years of being a lone carer for 3 of my family, who are, my son, daughter and granddaughter, I have at last found you, and thank goodness.
I know have a place to come to in times of need when I need shoulder to cry on when I need some care. Hopefully this won't happen too often. But it's nice to know you're here. Image

I am coming up very quickly to retirement age in January and have been a lone carer for my 32 year old son Andrew who has learning difficulties and behavioural problems. He is very hard to cope with as he can be very volatile. One minute he can be lovely, the next he explodes and hurls not only a tridade of abuse at me, but also any item in the house he can lay his hands on.
My daughter Karen who is 38 has suffered from Schizophrenia for almost 17 years now and has injections fortnightly. She is hopeless with money and looking after herself properly. Every week without fail she spends all of her benefits in 2 days on clothes that usually don't fit or are unsuitable to her size and age, leaving me to keep her on my limited benefits for 5 days. This last month she has been living on fruit because in her mind, she will loose weight. I keep trying to explain she needs to have her normal, but healthy meals, but when I do the curtain comes down and she goes off into her own world. I have tried to be hard and refuse to help, but it makes no difference, she still goes and spends all her money in 2 days...to her it is an obsession to buy clothes and nothing stops her.
The outcome is, I have her constantly worrying and asking me for things for 5 days of the week....every week.

My 18 year old granddaughter Sarah who is the eldest daughter of Karen, also has learning difficulties, and can also be volatile and hard to cope with. I raised both of her daughters from the ages of 2 and a half and 4 years old as they were about to be taken away from her because of her illness. To make matters worse I had to go to court to gain the Residence Order needed to enable me to care for them which was upsetting for us both and made me look like the big bad wolf in her eyes.
Until recently Sarah was attending college and had amassed a folder full of achievment and awards certificates, we were very proud of her. Then she got in with the bus travelling crowd.
She then refused to go back, and left college which we hoped she would go back to in September, and now rides on buses all day and all evening for 6 days of the week. I and other family members have tried to tell her how dangerous it can be, but like her mother she is an obsessive person and won't listen.

So sorry to go on, but I sometimes feel so helpless and alone. Image
Hi Pat

Welcome to the forum, we're glad you found us too!

You'll always find someone on here willing to listen, give advice or just be a shoulder to cry on, we're all in the same 'caring' boat.

Look forward to hearing more about you and your family.

Take care

Paula xx
Thank you for your warm welcome Paula.
It's nice to know I'm not alone.
Pat xx Image
Just want to add my welcome too Pat.
Look forward to reading more from you.

Hi Pat: If you need a chat or a shoulder to cry on, then this is the place there are quite a few pairs of broad shoulders on this forum, please take care of yourself.

Tonyxx Image
Hello Pat Just wanted to add my welcome also... Image

You'll feel right at home here, such a caring bunch!! Always there when you need them!

Take care
Maryann x