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Hello does anyone else feel like me? - Carers UK Forum

Hello does anyone else feel like me?

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi, it's the end of Christmas Day and it's been hard! I care for my husband who had a breakdown nearly five years ago and is still recovering. He just can't manage Christmas and I'm fed up of people saying have a nice Christmas, does anyone else feel the same?
No-one? Ah well least I tried.
Hi Jackie
Answering from my phone so its akward
I do understand that its emotional and hard. Think people mean well, because they dont know what else 2 say
Was hard 4 me too. My hubby didnt connect it was christmas, in the nursing home. They did their best 4 him
Has a badly swollen leg 2day. Dr been out 2 hi
Take care (hugs)
Yes and no Jackie.

I was speaking about this with a mate yesterday. His mum is now in a care home and he was going there for his christmas dinner but wasn't looking fwd to it. He was generally 'dissing' (I was big Fresh Prince fan..don't judge me) xmas and way people are 'only nice each other this time year'

While my point was that if (even if bit forced) bonhomie could be sustained throughout year that surely be good thing?

However, xmas with my mum is hard this year. Last year I was (again) part of a fully functioning family (me, wife, mum, MIL) last year in my new marital home but this year, due to a spectacular 'OG' on my part earlier in year, I find myself back in my parental home with my mum(minus late dad/husband). So women asking me was 'all ready for xmas' did annoy me a bit. Like what was I gonna do? :pinch:

However, my mum enjoyed her dinner and even started it off (having good day today) so I am in pretty fortunate position overall. Try me on not so good day, I'd be 100% with you tho....

Hang in there!
Hi Jackie
I'm sure there's lots agree and sympathise with you but the Forum has been remarkably quiet today. I've only just had chance to log on and am surprised how few posts there have been.
I assume most are getting through the day as best they can.
Hopefully traffic on here will pick up again from tomorrow
Xx MrsA
People ask if I had a nice Xmas probably
knowing it was unlikely.

Some in the village say," If there is anything I can do, let me know.
"But what can they do I ask myself?
How much is 'anything?' Housework/ironing/shopping, what?

So I never ask them to do anything and the wife and I
continue on our lonely journey.
Hi Jackie, sorry I couldn't reply yesterday. I have a son with severe learning difficulties, M, who lives in his own flat, but comes home every Christmas, I'm resigned to my Annual Marathon. M loves being here with his brother and nephew, but I'm widowed and so I feel everything is up to me now, and often have to put on a brave face. Everyone loves my cooking - and I love the pre Christmas baking - but I find having three people in the house all day when there is usually just me, difficult. If I creep into the "dining room", now my study, they seem to feel the need to see what I'm doing, even when they know I don't like the same TV programmes - Star Wars and James Bond.
I'd love to see the New Year in properly, but M is always here. New Year's Day was our wedding anniversary so another "brave face" day.
I breathe a sigh of relief when it's all over, and now tend to go away for a few days on a cheap break to recharge my batteries, either to Devon, Dorset, or Sussex.
Hi Jackie,
I think people say, " have a nice Christmas," as a saying, like some say,"see you later," etc ..

I'm sorry you have been having a hard time, you aren't alone. Lots of folk on here will have had a tough Christmas for a variety of reasons.

I'm in the same camp as BB, it feels like a marathon to me too.

It's the school holiday and I'm shattered from a hard term and could do with a chance to recharge before I go back to work, but instead I have my caree (young adult with autism,) who needs his day structured and occupying. Not easy this time of year as he wants to be visiting people but most folk are spending time with their own families. Days trips out not really an option this time of year and many indoor places too busy and crowded for someone with autism. Yesterday we were lucky to be invited to friends/ neighbour's for lunch, but he still had a meltdown in the morning. Likewise another one today. We aren't seeing anyone else until 29th Dec and that feels a long way away. It doesn't help that on TV nearly everyone is portrayed as having a big family Christmas.

Hi Melly,

Are you a teacher, I am and the end of terms are like a break from one job to give yourself 100% to caring. My husband always improves when I'm around then dips again when the new term starts.

I asked him what does he enjoy, he can't read anything and doesn't watch tv and has lost interest in everything. Anyway his reply was when I see you come in the drive from work each night! No pressure argh!
Hi Jackie, yes I am.

I read somewhere that, "We are not responsible for other people's happiness," well it doesn't feel that way to me! I too feel the pressure you describe; more so at weekends and holidays as at least S is tired weekdays term time. Although he wants my company after college, he is more content to self occupy close by.