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help - Carers UK Forum


Tell us a bit about yourself here.
First visit on this, dont know what to expect. Will start with the facts, My dad died suddenly in Nov. Since then i have been looking after my mum, seeing her 2 or 3 times a day, bringing her to my house for tea then taking her home and spending a couple of hours there. For the past few months she has been seeing my dad there and a few times has phoned up my husband cos she has phoned up saying i am there and she cant wake me up, This is difficult as i am diabetic but i was never there at the time, the sightings seem to be getting worse, Just so lost would like to give up work to look after her full time but dont think i could afford to , sorry for going on just need help
Hi Christine - firstly welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad.

I think that probably your first 'point of call' should be your Mum's GP for a health check to find out why she is having these hallucinations; her 'seeing' your Dad is not unusual, many people experience this after the death of a loved one and her 'seeing' you when you're not there is probably a form of 'wishful' thinking but a check up won't hurt and could put your mind at rest.

You don't say how old your Mum is or if she has any other health problems - but an assessment by Social Services could also be helpful to highlight any areas where she could do with some help - again her GP would be the starting point.

I'm sure that others will be along soon to offer advice and encouragement.

Hi Chris a big warm welcome to a brill site
I too look after my mom as my dad died to
Your dad died recently so she is still grieving for him she still as strong memories of him so she does imagine his still with her
Also as he died suddenly she hopes it will not happen to you too so for assurance she phones your hubby up it eases her mind
I know this is upsetting but in time this will pass but if you notice she is hallucinating more you need to either make her appointment or suggest she does but NEVER lie to her and say E.g we are going for a flu jab
As regards benefits etc either get in touch with carers UK or your local care centre

Carers UK's advice line
T. 0808 808 7777
Wednesday and Thursday
10am-12pm and 2pm-4pm
Email address is adviceline@carersuk.org

Chris what does your mom suffer from?
What medication if any does she take?
How old is your mom?
as mentioned an assesment would be of some benefit
All the best coffeex

Hello, I know you will feel better by being here, this group has certainly made me stronger with such friendly replies. I remember how I felt when my Dad died, I felt very guilty every time I left my Mum in her house on her own. I cannot advise you on how the imagination plays tricks but your Mum maybe drawing comfort from the sightings.
I remember as a girl of 16 in my Grans house saying to her " Gran I can smell pipe tobacco" and she said " can you dear, don't worry its only your Grandfather" .....Well that did worry me !. But looking back it must have been a comfort to Gran, just an idea. My thoughts are with you. Conned.
Hi Christine and welcome Image
Hi and welcome to the forum, there's plenty of support and advice to be found here.
Hello Christine - welcome to the forum. I'm sad that you're in this situation at home. It can't be easy for you. As has been suggested, maybe the GP is the first person to turn to - either with or without your Mum at first. I'm sure that he/she will be in a good position to find out why your Mum is seeing these things. The reason for it could be many things.
Don't let your imagination run away with you (I'm an expert on that one!) ....as giving up your job may not even come into it.....
Post any time and keep in touch x
Hello and welcome to the forum Image
Hello christine, welcome to the forum. I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad. You must miss him too. Thinking of you.
Hello and welcome Image