[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
Hello all - Carers UK Forum

Hello all

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Just would like to say hi to you all on here.

I am 47 years old, living with my 48 year old brother who has severe head injuries in a RTA in '89, and a 78 year old mother who has severe heart desease and other complications making her weak and frail now and has just come out of hospital yet again.

I am her carer now.

Since she has been out of hospital we have been proveded with a carer in the morning at evening to try and help me out a bit, but not much help really.

Anyway I am extreemely stressed most of the time, depressed and exhausted.

Just nice to find a forum with people who feel the same I am sure and also might be able to help me with questions I often have.
Hello and welcome to the forum Image
Hi Suki, welcome, you'll get lots of support, chat and laughter here.
Hi Suki and welcome Image
Hello and welcome Image
Thanks all.

I find it gets harder everytime she comes out of hospital, she just will not settle sat down in front of telly now, and is obsessed with her tummy thinking she will get an upset tum, so wants in and out of toilet, which is not easy in a period cottage when she can hardly walk even with a frame.

Constantly wanting tablets, and finding something wrong all the time.

So I get so I snap at her, and feel like screaming, then I feel guilty.

So a bit of what I am up against. Image

Oh and sleep at night! Image
Oh you do need a little respite dont you? Is there any chance she would be up to local day centre say once a week once she has convalesced a bit?
Also have/could you consider a commode for her use? I know that brings it own problems(!) but might be worth it? And/or might reassure her a bit and she might find if its there she worries less about frequent "visits"??
I doubt if anyone of us on here dont get wound up and snap sometimes. Give yourself a bit of slack. Its not a natural situation that you are in and you mustnt expect so much of yourself.

Just a thought. .. or two. x
Thanks Audrey, she has a commode, but wants the toilet through the day.

She doesn't like the sound of day centre at all.

She was really bad last night, would not sleep and pulled her cathetre night bag over and spilled all over the floor!

She has also lost what little hearinmg she had left in one ear suddenly last night, hopefully that will be just ear wax as Nurse had a look and says lots in there.

So today is a really bad day for me and I feel quite ill. I can't eat when I feel like this and am at another all time low.

But have to take each day as it comes I suppose.

Thanks again.
Hi and welcome to the forum.
Day Centre. I am assuming its available then? Well, my caree didnt like the soundof it either nonetheless i have got him there about 7 times now. It took a lot of devious wheedling on my part. I KNOW he enjoys it there (i get there early to fetch him and spy for abit before i join in and chat to all). Yet he still humphs, grunts, whinges the evening before etc etc and its a battle to get him up and off. BUT ITS WORTH IT!

Suggestion No.1 Is it possible for you to convince her its a medical appointment and GP wants her to attend (maybe say its a hearing assessment in natural environment??!) and not a Day Centre and get her there that way? (it might be unethical to fib, but i resort to it now cos its for the Greater Good). Give it another name too, Day Club pehaps??

Suggestion no 2. Find out if you can go with her (perhaps stay for the first hour) and treat it as a club of some sort. If staff helpful they will probably be very discreet and play the game with you.
S'all for now. bye
Thanks Audrey, something to think about, not sure what is available yet, was mentioned to me by the social worker when she was in hospital.

Thing is Mum has always been a very quiet and not very outgoing social type person.

Last night her hearing has gone completely and was bad enough before to make her feel out of it in hospital.

And she won't get dressed now, only feels comfy in nightdress with dressing gown.

But I know maybe things might have to change in the near future.

Thanks again.
i have made a big error me thinks. This bit we are on is for welcoming newcomers, now this has got so detailed i think (think) this should probably be in carer to carer bit. My fault not yours. But if a Moderator (they dont bite!) thinks it should move - they can move it and i think they will let you know.

Sorry all.
I will go look.

And yes I did think had got past the welcome stage, sorry once I start moaning..... Image