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Hello, all! - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Hello, all!

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Thanks, Jenny!

Analysis, as practiced by Freudians and Lacanists/Lacanians, is more about enabling one to listen to oneself. That is, to listen to one's thoughts, anxieties, fears, etc. Analysis doesn't seek to "cure" anybody. It only aims to bridge that which is at the forefront of our conscious and that which is subterranean. In other words, it aims make known to one the unknown aspects of one's fears, desires, etc. It hardly, mostly never, involves medication.
Well, never heard of Lacan - shall look him up! Heard of Jung and Adler (and Freud) and that's it.

It's interesting the business about not 'curing'. I have ALWAYS been immensely sceptical (not to say jaundiced!) about folk who say they have been 'in analysis' for decades (I think Woody Allen is one of them!). SO 'narcissistic' to my mind!!!!

My own (personal) opinion is that humans are 'designed to be happy' and that is our 'default setting' but if something 'goes wrong' (usually in childhood etc etc, but sometimes later)(though the INABILITY to cope with 'later trauma' is, I think, based on whether we have been raised to be resilient in childhood.....), it's only THEN (ie, when something has 'gone wrong') that we need to (a) understand WHY (ie, analysis) and then (b) addrtess it and heal it (ie, therapy).

I think analysis is vital - indeed, essential (unless one is going to go for the 'mystery solution' of CBT, which yes, might well be 'good enough' to keep one 'functioning', but to my mind is really best as an immediate 'stop gap' to get us sufficiently stable to start the 'real' process of analysis/therapy).

BUT though analysis is NECESSARY, it is not SUFFICIENT. ie, no point understanding WHY we are unhappy etc, if we dont' then go on to address those problems and CURE them.

If we don't believe in 'curability' what is the point of it all? No point only understanding why we are unhappy - the goal is to not be unhappy any longer!

But whatever your approach, I hope it helps you and your sister. The 'why' of why your parents were so, so malign is perhaps at the root of it - it might be, I guess that, as W H Auden says 'those to whom evil is done, do evil in return' (but that is not always the case), and maybe some folks are just 'bad'.......though I would like to think not...... (see 'happiness is our default setting' above!)

(Only psychopaths seem to be 'truly bad inherently' and even they, from what little I have read, simply suffer from total lack of empathy, so providing they are 'kept away' from other folk and not given any opportunity to let their innate callousness about others impact on others, then society could potentially tolerate them. I've read the best place for a psychopath is in a lab - ie, doing 'impersonal science' where they don't interact with other humans!)

But cruelty remains THE key problem for religion I feel - HOW can humans be cruel to one another? A really difficult ethical question to my mind!
Hi, Jenny,

Auden is one of my favorite poets. Do you like him, too?

I'm sorry for having spoken about "curing" in a rather unclear manner. Most analysts believe that to be human is to also suffer. Happiness is happiness because it is best experienced in contrast to unpleasant, difficult feelings. They argue that humans have become hellbent on experiencing happiness and happiness alone. In other words, they'd like to point out that happiness is not necessarily the same as contentment. In addition, analysts see anxiety, fears, etc as opportunities for one to get to understand what really drives one. I agree with your personal opinion, but I'm just stating that an analyst would say wanting to be happy at all costs is itself symptomatic of mental unwellness (I prefer not to use illness here)--that it is unhealthy.

After all, an analyst only offers interpretations. In that sense, he or she does not offer a "cure."

Disclaimer: I am not saying analysis is the best approach. It is the approach I am most comfortable with. I am not discrediting other approaches, either. Admittedly, I am still learning.

I also like your personal take on happiness.
I cannot stand Woody Allen, or his films. I find him so repulsive. I am so agitated just thinking of him. Unsettling man, to say the least.

That said, the sad thing is that if he had been six foot tall and handsome a lot of his angst would not be necessary. Not fun being ugly in this world (sigh).
Ouch! But I see what you mean. :D
It's one of those interesting but seldom addressed questions in history - had, say, Napoleon been six foot two and handsome, would he have been so obsessed with ruling the world? Ditto for Hitler!

Ugliness causes HUGE psychological problems in so many people. It's a 'disability' in a way - I guess it is profoundly Darwinian. Knowing 'no one wants to mate with me and have my children/have me bear their children' is pretty depressing......

Ugliness is the 'ultimate unfairness' in many ways (ie, other than actual disability).

To my mind, the world divides into 'beauties' and 'uglies' and the former have NO IDEA how 'easy' it is for them!

I can remember reading an article somewhere that 'beautiful people are much more likeable than ugly people'....and it boiled down to the fact that everyone is much NICER to beautiful people than they are to ugly people (ie, they are more 'desirable'), people want to be with them, spend time with them, and, hey presto, that makes the beautiful person much nicer because they grow up in a 'happy world' where everyone is pleased to see them....

If you want to be invisible, be ugly.
Of course, all the adulation and 'desire for them and their company' that beautiful people get CAN turn them into raving narcissists!

Sadly, they will probably STILL go on being admired and desired, even if they are 'monstrous'. Such is the tyranny of Darwinism!
This makes me sad to see this kind of problem with young people. We live in a modern world and we want more money than our parents, to buy all we want. We don't think about our health or other problems or we don't treat the issues on time. I can say that we need sabbatical twice a year because it can offer us the recreation time, this time is only for us because we just should think about us and nothing more. When I go on vacation I turn off all my phones and I just rest with a good drink near to the sea.

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