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My brother - Carers UK Forum

My brother

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Hello,

my parents are getting on and the situation with my brother can't continue as it is.

He is very intelligent and active but had hydrocephalus as a child, this has left him subtly impaired and mysteriously unable to make his way in the world. He can't get a job and is reliant on my mother and father for everything. It's tempting to think of him as lazy, and deep down I suppose that against my better self I do, but the reality is that he is somehow unable to cope.

Recently he has started falling victim to internet cons and getting into online dating with people who don't want a date if you know what I mean. I think that this is happening because of the same underlying emotional and practical vulnerability that he has, but it's tempting just to get angry!

At the moment my mum and dad bail him out and continue to furnish the good things in life for him. They feel guilty about having a disabled child I think and don't know what to do to help him. But as I say, they are getting on and eventually either he will be left to fend for himself or I will have to care for him.

In addition he has physical symptoms similar to someone with a very light case of cerebral palsy - he can walk, but falls over quite a lot and can't do things like catch a ball. He shakes a bit and used to be epileptic but seems to have completely recovered from this in recent years. I think this is relevant to his situation because he suffers some discrimination as a result, and I think that this contributes to the downward spiral that he seems trapped in.

The thing I want is for him to fulfill a portion of whatever potential he has and to find something to do that he likes and that he can be proud of. I admit that we don't get on, and that contributes to me being worried about him ending up dependent on me but I also think that he would be happier if he could live independently and perhaps could even have a relationship and a family life of his own if he did that.

Does anyone have similar experiences that they can share, or can anyone point me to some good organisations that could council him and us or can help ?
Have you had a good look round the site yet? there is a help line. I am sure others will be along in a bit who have more info than i have
im with peteraf lol

but i understand wot u mean, u want the best for him and thats understandable. does he not have any key worker or anything u could talk to?
Hello
Welcome. Ive just read your post and totally get where you are coming from.
I have a daughter who, (when/if something happens to me) will need 24 hour care/support so I can understand, as a sister, your anxiety about the future for your brother. Has he got a Keyworker/Social worker? What support/organisations is he already involved with? How old is he? I hope you hear from people who can point you in the right direction.
Jane
Welcome to the site, janeh. I'm afraid that I have no advice that I can offer, but see what a terrible plight you might be in one day. I do hope that you can find some way of coping with it all x
welcome to this site Image
Welcome to the forum Image
Welcome to the forum Image

I hope your brother is getting medical & financial support.

Take care x
Hi and welcome to the site.

Karen xx
Helllo and welcome