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Need Help - Carers UK Forum

Need Help

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I’m looking for help or families in the same position and the ways in which they deal with the behaviours My son is just coming up 14 years old we have been having endless problems with his behaviour for years now but it has become worse over the last few years. I have been pushing and pushing to get some help but to no Avail. As soon as I get someone on board my son won’t talk to them so they leave us. My son is up most of the night every night, eating constantly sugar, biscuits and anything he can get his hands on in excessive amounts. To the point I have to either stop buying or hide in my car. He has now started taking my keys and sneaking out to the car to get what he wants. He takes money from my purse and denies all of it. He constantly shouts whenever you talk to him, slams the doors and trashes he’s room. He has broken so many things including TVs. He lashes out at his younger sister and myself. Throwing stuff around or at us. Turning the rooms upside down when he doesn’t get his own way. Disappearing when he goes outside to play. Being aggressive to myself. I have 3 other children and we are just at breaking point. We have tried everything we can think of. Any advice would be greatly received.
Hi & welcome Amanda

Sorry to read the issues your son is having and the knock on effects for you all as a family.

What medical possibilities have be ruled out? What involvement have the school had? Academically, how is his learning and interactions with his peers and teachers.

Have you every kept a diary of the events and if you have noticed any patterns. Have you notice following the high level of sugar intake the behaviour/s increase.

this link is primarily for learning disabilities but there is a lot of other information maybe of help. www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk/
Amanda - could your son have Prader Willi syndrome. Have a read up about it.xx
Thank you for the welcome.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

They have ruled out any mental health issues and we are currently awaiting an Autism assessment for the last year. School have been involved but the problem we have is that he very well behaved at school apart from the odd occasion. Doing really well academically. He is doesn’t have many friends and finds it hard to interact with new people.

I have kept a dairy of events and videos. It started off every now and then and we are going back from when he was about 2. Now it’s every day and night. Sugar as you can imagine makes the situation even worse and this is why I have resulted in hiding it in my car, but he originally found my spare key and hide it and now it’s locked away but now he waits until I pop to the toilet of something and takes it. I am currently carrying it with me everywhere. The later he stays awake at night the worse it is the next day. Trying to get him to school is so stressful and normal results in him screaming, shouting and throwing things. He has no respect for us and constantly tells us to shut up and other names I wouldn’t want to repeat. We have taken him Councelling and had social workers, doctors child services and camhs involved but no one is willing to help. I’m just at breaking point now and don’t know what more I can do.
I have had a look at Pradeep Willi Syndrone, but I don’t think he has this. Thank you for your suggestion though.

Another major issue I have had for years now that he over rides our internet security so he can take the restricts off, so he can look at porn. He doesn’t just do this on his laptop but also my 10 year old daughters tablet. So we are constantly having the monitor this and check everything all the time.
Clearly he's very intelligent: he knows how to control his situation at home, and how to avoid entanglements with the authorities by refusing to engage.

Certainly sounds like autism with a strong likelihood of demand avoidance thrown in.

The fact is that there are few routes open to you except for the fact that he attacks his younger sister. This is a child protection issue and whether he will talk to social services or not, your daughter can, and so can you about how frightened you are for her.

I do suggest that you contact the Helpline - Monday to Friday between 9am and 6pm - 0808 808 7777, or email for a more detailed response - advice@carersuk.org
This is domestic abuse!
Maybe calling the Police next time will make him realise that he CANNOT be allowed to keep doing this?