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hello - Page 2 -Carers UK Forum


Tell us a bit about yourself here.
sadly my husband has died, and it was a painful and a death at home was what he wanted, l dont think l have ever seen something so horrible ,. l am numb, he has been gone for 5 weeks, and l am due to go back to work next week, l cant stay here , the funeral was just as he wanted and now l am empty x
Eileen, I'm sorry for your loss, at least your husband isn't suffering any more.
I was widowed when just 54, so I'm speaking from experience. Do NOT make ANY important decisions for at least a year, possibly longer. I could have sold absolutely everything in the first few months, so glad I didn't.
Ask your GP to sign you off work for a while, or go back part time, you haven't begun to process everything that you've been through.
I just wanted to do the "right thing" but what was that?
I would recommend a book called "Starting Again" by Sarah Litvinoff, to help find out what you want for your future. It's primarily designed for divorcees, but so relevant to us too. It's really easy to read, you can have it by your bedside, read a bit, think a bit.

I would also suggest that you go away for a few days, even if it's just to a Premier Inn. Then you can eat, sleep, meander round doing nothing, but it will give you the headspace you need. Doesn't have to be a long way away, not a holiday, just time to "tread water".
Eileen, sad to hear of your loss. I too lost my husband 28months ago. You naturally will have all sorts of emotions. Took me a while to sort out in my head what needed doing, how to cope with the things he did. Takes baby steps. Eventually you will adjust, although at the moment you most likely don't feel that. Happier memories will emerge.