Page 1 of 1

Hello

Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 5:52 pm
by Amy_1707
Hello,
I've just joined the forum. I've been a carer for ten years now for my mum who has Parkinson's. I am now a 28 and have recently started to struggle, feeling emotional and a bit overwhelmed and with no family apart from mum. Difficult to see a future at this point. I'm sure there are so many people out there in similar scenarios. Any advice? Should I tell work I'm feeling very low? How do you pick yourself up again?
Thanks

Re: Hello

Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 5:57 pm
by Colin_1705
If your work has a welfare officer, you could Ell them you have caring duties that are not easy perhaps

Re: Hello

Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 6:43 pm
by helena_1512
I agree with the advice given. Also if you have a sympathetic manager and team members it might be worth mentioning that you are struggling a little. That said, are you getting all the help you need? Is your mother getting Attendance Allowance? If so could some of that money be used to pay for help in the house as in a cleaner? Are there things you could do to make life easier? Online grocery shopping?

Hopefully more experienced people will give advice Amy but if it were me, I would assume things are not going to get easier, and try and get things in place now such as more support for your mother.Your job is very important as it gives you independence and financial freedom so you must delegate as and when you can.

Re: Hello

Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 7:33 pm
by MrsAverage
Hi Amy
There's some ideas for short term fixes here https://www.carersuk.org/forum/support- ... mood-12505
But I'd also suggest going to your GP before you mention it to work. He may well say you need a break , and/or offer other things.Your health, both physical and mental is as important as Mum's

Yes, work is supposed to recognise you as a carer but truly supportive employers are few and far between and personally I'd try exhausting all other avenues first.

Yes, anything practical will help too, and you need to starting planning for the long term too. No one individual carer can carry on 24/7/366 for years. You need help, and breaks.

Have you found your local carers support office yet? They may have links to local support

Kind regards
MrsA

Re: Hello

Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:30 pm
by jenny lucas
I agree about seeing your GP initially. Make a list of EVERYTHING you do for your mum, and how that has changed, if it has, over the years.

Though I'm sure you love your mum dearly, you are entitled to a life of your own, and that will mean your mum having outside helpers.

Does she have these already? I hate to say it, but a lot of folk here report that their parents 'don't want anyone else to look after them but their sons/daughters....' That has to be, I'm afraid, ignored. We cannot, and should not, give up our own lives entirely to do things that professionals can do perfectly well. Ideally, our caring time should be focused on 'keeping company' not doing the 'chore' aspect of caring.

The younger the carer, the more vital it is that they get a life of their own, and a future to look forward to.