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Hello - Carers UK Forum


Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi Guys
I always have a lurk around the forum but never really post anything, so thought it was about time. I'm Kirsty, I look after my mum who has MS and took over caring after my dad died from Leukemia in 2009. I never realised how much my dad did until he passed away.
I live with my mum, my husband and our 4 dogs. I also work as a nurse.
I feel that our local Carers Association is more geared up for people who either care with someone with Dementia or children with learning disabilities and I'm in a non-category and they don't know what to do with me when I contact them for advice!
So good morning to all, I hope today is going to be a good one - having a positive day at the moment - well it is only half past 9!
Hi Kirsty, welcome to the forum. In my area, everyone at Carers meetings seems to be caring for an elderly partner, many with dementia, so it's irrelevant to me. I have had four disabled elderly parents (mine+in laws) as well as a son with severe learning difficulties. I also worked from home - not seen as "proper" work by many of the officials, who seemed to think they could arrange appointments at any time as a result!! If you are struggling to meet everyone's needs, or not having any time to yourself, write down everything you do. Then work out those which can be ditched entirely (removing borders in the garden for example), those which wouldn't take so long if you did them differently (use a tumble dryer, get a dishwasher, wear as many clothes as possible which don't need ironing) and then work out jobs that someone else could do - gardener, domestic help. I was forced to do this when I was myself disabled but caring for two others, and it was so successful that I wish I'd done it years ago. Make sure mum has had an up to date "Needs Assessment" from Social Services, it would be a good idea for you to be present at the time to make sure she doesn't keep saying "my daughter does it so I don't need help". Once SSD have worked out what help she needs, and costed it, there is an option to have Direct Payments instead, so your family can work out between you what would help you most of all. Is mum claiming all the benefits which she is entitled to?
Hi, thank you for the welcome.
Mum gets DLA at the higher rate and that's the only one. I don't think we are entitled to anything else. I had a meeting with social work last month about SDS and we have be awarded 12 hours to take mum out, we had someone lined up but she has a new job so we are back to the start of trying to find someone appropriate to take her out at least once a week so I get a bit of a break and a chance to catch up on the household chores! I feel that I end up chasing my tail all the time.
Oh well better move my bum, mum won't be getting up on her own! :D
If mum gets DLA and has limited savings, then DLA acts as a "passport" benefit for enhanced pension benefits. It's a bit of a minefield but the Carers UK helpline would be able to give you the best possible advice - unfortunately DWP advisors often have limited training these days. The helpline made me considerably better off, so I'm always happy to praise the service.