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[fourmerk]

My husband had an accident in May 2007 which left him brain damaged. He was discharged with no care package (the rehab consultant deemed he didn't need it) in August 2007.

I struggled to cope with his behaviour till November. He has uncontrollable rages and assaults me. Social Services then provided carers but the last two assaults (always at night when there is no-one else around) I had no option but to call the police. I thought he was going to kill me. He was taken into custody but relased both times without charge as he is not a criminal, but is ill. He doesn't know what he is doing when he has a rage and afterwards knows something has happened, ("We had a row"), but doesn't remember what.

He has perseveration which means he repeats the one thought constantly. Since everything else that mattered to him in his life has been taken away from him, the one remaining thing is me and he suffocates me by telling me how much he loves me a hundred times a day. It is exhausting.

After the last assault, in January, he moved to a flat a few miles away. I have to make his meals, do his laundry, see him every day. To make matters worse, his father died on 4th February and now I have to support his mother.

My daughter cannot cope with all this either and has been signed off work since December. She has a husband and twin children.

[chmaja]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum.

I hope you are getting the help and support you need now?

Is there a carers centre near to you?

Speak again sometime

Chris

[fourmerk]

Thanks, Chris.

My husband now has carers 21 hours a week. They are providing home support but he needs stimulation and to find new interests as he can never go back to work or help me on the farm again. This was meant to have been organised by the company who provide the carers but they are disorganised in themselves.

Carers Scotland helped me fill in the disablilty living allowance claim form and he got the higher rate of care allownce. Physically he is fine, so only the lower rate on that as he needs to be supervised since he can be aggressive to members of the public.

[Maryann]

Hello FourMerk

A warm welcome to the forum!

I haven't got alot of time right now as Mum has just woke up, but I would get onto your Social Worker or Carers Developement Officer, tell them that your husband needs stimulation during the day and ask is there any centres that he could attend in your area. Could be that his hobbies and interests are different to before his illness so would be good for him to be able to explore other interests and surroundings. Sorry but I got to go now, but please feel right at home here as I'm sure you'll find it very helpful and supportive!

Take care
Maryann x

[fourmerk]

Hello FourMerk

A warm welcome to the forum!

I haven't got alot of time right now as Mum has just woke up, but I would get onto your Social Worker or Carers Development Officer, tell them that your husband needs stimulation during the day and ask is there any centres that he could attend in your area. Could be that his hobbies and interests are different to before his illness so would be good for him to be able to explore other interests and surroundings. Sorry but I got to go now, but please feel right at home here as I'm sure you'll find it very helpful and supportive!

Take care
Maryann x

Thank you for the welcome, Maryann.

My husband has no insight into his brain damage and so would not go to a day centre. He is still a very intelligent man but has so many deficits and impairments. He has no incentive to develop new interests as he thinks he will be going back to work as a solicitor.

We had the OT and psychlogist from Area Rehab here on Wednesday morning to give him the results of the tests and assessments they have carried out. They told him that his abilities do not match up with the requirements of his work. He totally disregarded what they told him, apart from the minor things about him which have improved. I was very upset, although I had been prepared for it, but Ronnie has no emotions apart from the rages and so didn't react to what he was told. He said these people couldn't assess if he was capable of doing his job as they are not legally trained.

The brain injury is a diffuse one but the worst damage is to the right frontal lobe which means that he cannot plan, organise, make decisions.

He hates the carers and is fighting against having blocks of care three hours a day. No-one can force him at present, but social services are talking about guardianship under the new mental health act for adults with incapacity. I have power of attorney but I cannot compel him to do things. I don't want social services to appoint a guardian and I can't afford over £1000 to become his guardian.

At the case conference three weeks ago, it was agreed by all the health professionals that he should be getting stimulation and the co-ordinator of Care Solutions who provide carers was at the meeting but has done nothing to implement what he was told to do. Ronnie keeps cancelling carers and we had to cancel some when his father died. The co-ordinator is annoyed about that.

Just don't know what to do and I am so tired all the time and my hair is getting very thin because I am so stressed.

[Guest]

I think in your situation I'd seek legal advice from a solicitor specialising in this area, you might, depending on your circumstances, be able to get advice free. You might also want to look at the government's publications on the Mental Incapacity Act 2005, I assume the social workers are refering to this act rather than the Mental Health Act which also confers powers of guardianship:

http://www.dca.gov.uk/menincap/legis.htm

I don't know if you've contacted Headway, the charity that supports people with brain injury and their carers but they have a helpline, their website is here]http://www.headway.org.uk/[/url]

And welcome to the male-pattern baldness club, my hair does the same when I'm under stress .

Annie

[fourmerk]

I think in your situation I'd seek legal advice from a solicitor specialising in this area, you might, depending on your circumstances, be able to get advice free. You might also want to look at the government's publications on the Mental Incapacity Act 2005, I assume the social workers are refering to this act rather than the Mental Health Act which also confers powers of guardianship]http://www.dca.gov.uk/menincap/legis.htm[/url]

I don't know if you've contacted Headway, the charity that supports people with brain injury and their carers but they have a helpline, their website is here]http://www.headway.org.uk/[/url]

And welcome to the male-pattern baldness club, my hair does the same when I'm under stress .

Annie

Thanks, Annie.

I have got a no win no fee lawyer for Ronnie and he specialises in brain injury compensation and is the top man in his field, I am told.

You're right that it is the mental incapacity legislation. I just don't want him threatened by social services or put in secure accomodation or a homeless shelter which is what social services said they would do, but I also need the money from the rent of the flat.

I have tried to get in touch with Headway but they are only available for short times and don't publicise when they are staffed.

Thank you!
Joan

[Guest]

Hi Joan

The Mental Capacity Act is intended to protect individuals rather than provide a vehicle for social workers to take control where this isn't necessary, it's based on a presumption of capacity and, where it's proved necessary, the least restrictive options should be used:

[quote]The whole Act is underpinned by a set of five key principles]

http://www.dca.gov.uk/legal-policy/ment ... ummary.pdf

I assume that you have Enduring Power of Attorney rather than Lasting Power of Attorney, LPA gives the attorney additional rights to those conferred under an EPA, i.e. the right to have a say in the welfare of the individual beyond financial considerations, this includes a say in health-related decsions, etc.

I really don't know what to suggest other than that you consult your solicitor, knowing our rights or those of the people we care for doesn't ensure that they are upheld, it seems that social workers are able to ride roughshod over them. I wish I could help more.

Annie

[cotula]

Annie, remember Joan is in Scotland - there may be differences in the law.

[Guest]

Annie, remember Joan is in Scotland - there may be differences in the law.

Good point, cotula, the Act in Scotland is the Adults with Incapacity (Scotland) Act 2000. The Act can be found here]http://www.opsi.gov.uk/legislation/scot ... 00004_en_1[/url]

The Explanatory Notes here]http://www.scotland-legislation.hmso.go ... 00en04.htm[/url]

The principles of best interests and least restrictive practice still apply, as do most of the provisions of the England and Wales Act as far as I can see, the views of the nearest relative also have to be taken into account as in Mental Health legislation. I haven't had time to find the Code of Practice for Local Authorities exercising their powers under the Act but it does appear to exist somewhere on the Scottish Parliament website, this is the problem with devolution, you can never find anything .

I hope that this helps, Joan, it's difficult without knowing the full context of what is happening to do anything other than point you in the general direction of information that might prove helpful.

Annie