Hello!

[Mr Tired Carer]

I have just joined.. I've been a carer for over 20 years for some one who suffers from both physical and mental health issues..

Does anyone else find it difficult to discuss how hard it is, with the person you are a carer for, in case they feel guilty and take a turn for the worst?

[sillybugger]

Of course ! By virtue of the fact YOU are the carer, means you are probably putting their needs before your own. Because of that , you should not feel guilty in saying when things are hard for you. Case in point, I do everything, and yesterday I was full of cold and feeling rotten, I asked hubby to hold the washing for me whilst I pegged it up. He went to put it down a distance from the line so he could go back to bed AGAIN. I nicely pointed out I wasn't feeling well, and the least he could do in this instance was to take a little time on my account, as every hour of every day I take time on his. Do not feel guilty, you are no doubt doing the work of at least 10 professionals if they were in care, so give yourself a pat on the back, and permission to be human.

[Mr Tired Carer]

Yes, Thankyou for that.. I often wonder how much money I would have been paid over the years had I been on a wage for everything, not just me, but every carer does. I would be a rich man... Instead I have been getting a measaly £58.45 a week since I lost my job a couple of year ago... Thru stress and anxiety, and all the time I had off as a carer, I might add.

I hope you feel better soon.

[no1mum]

Tired carer, I think that term applies to most of us on here, as well as frustrated and isolated. Welcome to the forum.

[tracie]

Hello and welcome

[Mr Tired Carer]

Thankyou Sillybugger, Thankyou no1mum, and thankyou tracie.

I know I'm not alone in what I do... But, like many others, It certainly feels like it at times.

[Minnie]

Hi,
Just wanted to say Hello , and welcome to the forum.
Minnie

[Mr Tired Carer]

Thanks Minnie.

[Brindleboy123]

Mr Tired Carer (such an appropriate name!), big welcome to the forum from me too!

No you should certainly not feel guilty. The big question, as always, is "Who cares for the carer"? I remember when I had first started caring for Mum and was sharing the care with my sister. I went back to the UK for 2 weeks each month and Mum stayed with my sister the other 2. One particular month I had broken my toe and had difficulty walking, got a horrendous cold and then went down with shingles! The first thing my Mum did was to speak to the community matron that I could still travel so that I couldn't make any excuses! Needless to say I went - spots and all!

Enjoy the support and friendship that you will find on the forum.

Bell x

[poppett]

Hello from me too.

Carers are usually found to be stranded between a rock and a hard place.xx