Hello

[madeliaette]

I have been caring PT/FT for my elderly father since Dec 2009. When I heard he had been in hospital after a fall in 2009, and that my 70's+ YO aunt was doing the cleaning - I returned to England from Australia to take over the chores and become dad's PT carer.
This became FT in August 2010, after a bowel operation took him back to hospital. Since then, I have become cleaner, cook, shopper, wheel-chair chauffeur, secretary, & carer PLUS.
I rise at 4-30am, to make his 5am cuppa - and check on him half-hourly/am on call until he retires circa 8-9pm.
Most of the time, I am OK and happy to do this - but on occasion, I have days where I want more sleep/time out.
I currently get a 2-3 hour break once monthly, to walk into the next suburb to do banking/shopping/relax & another 2 hour break when he goes off in a car to a lunch-social at his church. I cannot get help until he becomes worse than currently - and needs help to wash/dress. (At the mo, he needs help sometimes, and not other times.) I am OK on this - knowing the alternative would be his moving into a home, which would be the end of him emotionally/mentally. I would rather 'earn my inheritance' and stick it out.
I am in contact with his doctor/the local falls team/various extras as req'd. Also, a few of my friends online are also caring for elderly rellos.
I am basically 'here' trying to find other online sources of info/contact for when things get tough again....

[Minnie]

Hi Sandra,
Welcome to the forum, you have a lot to deal with. not much me time. Hope
this site helps you even with the isolation caring brings.
Take care
Minnie

[Robert]

Hello Sandra and a warm welcome from me too.

You must miss the climate down under, eh ? No matter.....

I'm impressed by what you have done, but, as I well know, you have taken on a lot. From what you say, you have approached Social Services ( Adult Services ) about getting some support, but probably been told that your Dad is still 'too able' to qualify, in that he can generally manage his own washing, dressing etc ? These days, Social Services have tightened their 'elegibility criteria' quite a bit. Even so, if your Dad is in any way at risk when alone, then he should be entitled to some help. - Risk of falling ?? And as his Carer, you should be entitled to a Carer's Assessment, which can lead you to getting time out. And there is plenty of information right here on the homepage, eg links to give info on Carer's Assessments, how to find your local Carers Group, etc.

As you will discover yourself, we are all very friendly and supportive here, and more than willing to share our experiences and offer our thoughts. I'm really pleased you have joined us. Its a great place to be if you are a Carer and doing the best that you can.

All good wishes, and welcome

Robert

[madeliaette]

Great to find this forum is active! Thanks for the welcome....
Luckily, my hobbies are mostly indoor/whenever - rather than going out to places and/or reliant upon other people. I can pick up a book, hit the net, watch birds out the window, meditate, etc - while still having one ear open in case Dad calls.
Yeah, I do miss the nice warm weather.... and the hiking - I used to live 10 minutes walk from the ocean and 50 minutes walk from a mountain. But I was ready for the next stage of my life...

[Robert]

Sandra, I like your attitude. You'll fit in here just fine

On week-ends, like now, I return to my little home in Southampton. The water is 100 yards from my front door. Though its docks rather than wonderful beach. But I love it just the same. Love watching the sun setting over the New Forest. Not too many mountains though in Hampshire. Mole hills, yes. I stay with Mum Monday to Friday. Job to read or do much. She keeps me busy with all sorts. I like to read and need to meditate more. Learned TM more than thirty years ago, but want to progress towards Kriya Yoga one of these days.

I like the fact that you have accepted that your life has moved to its next phase. Very positive thinking. It helps if you feel in control of events. Sometimes carers do things because they feel they have no choice. That can store up resentment and all sorts for later on.

Anyway, I ought to fix some food now. All I've had are remains of last night's curry

All the best,

Robert

[Brindleboy123]

Sandra...welcome aboard! Usually someone around somewhere here and they are a right friendly lot too.

Bell

[Melly1]

Hi Sandra and welcome,

melly1

[michael parker]

Hello and welcome.Hope you find the Forum useful and fun.