Hello

[Guest]

Hi

For two years now I've been looking after my mum (90) and dad (88) - still sparring as bitterly as ever after 64 years of marriage.

I expect you've all heard it all before - been there; done that; got the t-shirt....

But I've finally plucked up courage to find some fellow sufferers/survivors just to speak to someone - anyone - who actually understands what I'm going through.

I'm not interested in my 'rights' or what I'm 'entitled to' - I just want/need so badly just to talk to someone who has been to the very lonely place where I am now.

I have such good friends, such kind people, who are all so well meaning and all offer advice - 'if I were you ... and 'haven't you tried ... ' and 'why don't you just .... ' and 'you should ...'

But they don't really know what its like day in, day out and the guilt of just wanting to be free

Plus I get so angry with my sibling who visits for a few hours every other weekend (when she hasn't got a better offer) and still wants 'to see you too .......................'

Is it me?

[Minnie]

Hi,
Welcome,
No it's not you, it's the isolation of being a carer. You have a lot to deal with, everybody wants to escape and have time to themselves. You are only human. A lot of us here have had the
well meaning rellies: me included who pop in now and again . knowing everything. they don't
they are not in your shoes. Your in a good crowd here.
Take care
Minnie

[Jane:-)]

Hi SiouxCQ, welcome to the forum.

We are all carers for our loved ones on this site and I'm sure you will find someone who relates to your caring situation. Guilt is a feeling most carers experience in one way or another, so you are not alone there.

I did not join this forum to find out my 'rights' or 'what I am entitled to' however I have learnt a lot in the short time I've been on here, but most of all I found people who are willingly to listen to me whether I'm having a bad day or good and that is very important to me.

Have a look at all the different topics and jump in whenever you like, 'Roll Call' is in the Carer to Carer section and its a bit like a register but its a good place to get to know people on here. When you are feeling most alone this forum shows you that although you may be isolated there are many people dealing with the same caring issues day and night as you and I hope this brings you some comfort.

[susieq]

Hi SiouxCQ and welcome from another susieq

I think we're in similar situations although I now only have my Mum (88 with Alzheimers) to worry about - Dad died over 20 years ago. I was caring for my Mum 'from a distance' for 3 years before I moved in with her 2 years ago to care for her full time - it's been very difficult at times and isolating all the time. I too have a sister who spares me some time when she isn't tied up with children and grand-children although we had agreed to 'share' Mum's care when I moved in.

Mum's condition has progressed to the point where I can't cope anymore and she has just gone into a residential care home for a trial period to see if she will settle - so although I have some time on my hands at the moment I won't be 'free' until we know if she is going to stay there.

Like you joined Carers UK to find other people I could talk to who were going through a similar situation - I have found nothing but kindness and support (and lots of fun and laughter too ) from everyone here.

[BertieBear]

Seems like everyone's covered what I was going to say, so...
Welcome to the forum!
Look forward to seeing you around. Just jump in as and when you want to.

[Myrtle]

Hi and welcome

[alfred turner]

hi i know exactly and the reasons i am here are very similar to yours
i have to say my ex wife though she never realy cottoned on to the resonsibilitys and lonlynes was always happy to talk but not now (worn out my welcome)

any way i and i would guess most on here know what is what and are to help in what ever way we each need from a smile to advice feel free to drop me a line any time i will try to reply asap

[no1mum]

Hiya and a warm welcome to the forum, not anything I can add to what's already been said.

Karen